


Going Under Part 2

by LadyGinoza



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-05-24 16:09:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 40,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyGinoza/pseuds/LadyGinoza
Summary: Happy endings are only in children's fairytales...





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Kougami**

Ever since I could remember, all I ever wanted to do was to protect people. I wanted a job where I could protect the innocent and feel good while doing it and that’s what I did. I became a police officer but after a while even that wasn’t enough for me. Just being an ordinary cop did not give me the satisfaction that I desired so I then worked hard on becoming a detective and here I am.

Being a detective is not always a walk in the park though. It requires a lot of work and the decisions that you make can have dire consequences in a case but it’s all worth it. I think it’s just the thrill of everything that goes down in a single moment that drives me. I simply adore it.

A slight stir beside me disturbs my thoughts as I look down to meet Gino’s peaceful face as he’s soundly asleep in our bed. Even in the early mornings, he never fails on looking so damn beautiful. It’s hard to believe that a year ago I thought I had lost him for good. That I would never see him again and that he would just move on with someone else but he didn’t. He came back to me and I’ve never been happier.

Looking at him like this, looking at his peaceful and gentle face is so hard to believe that Gino was once a cold hearted killer. That he was the one to hire if you wanted someone dead. Although he claimed that he only took jobs to take down dangerous individuals, it still doesn’t change the fact that he killed people for a living. How can you go on living life knowing you have so many lives on your shoulders as if it’s nothing? I’ve wondered that ever since Gino came back but I never dared to ask him in fear that I would lose him.

I gently lean down to kiss Gino’s cheek as I gently stroke his arm and I receive a light response as he gently stirs. His eyes slightly opens and I get a glimpse of his green eyes for a second before he shuts them again and shifts onto his other side as he mumbles something gently to let him sleep and all goes quiet.

I can’t help but let out a sigh as I get up from the comfort of our bed and proceed to get my clothes from the closet and get dress. I try not to make much noise as I get ready, not that it would make much difference though. After living with Gino for almost a year, I’ve come to learn that he’s quite the heavy sleeper. It would take a lot of noise to wake him up and yet if you do the error of touching him when he’s sleeping; he wakes up in a flash. It’s odd or maybe it’s something that has stayed with him from his hitman days.

After living with him for almost a year, I’ve learned a few things about him. Certain things I kind of knew but I wasn’t too sure until I was proven right. Other things I’ve discovered were a surprise to me such as Gino’s not so fondness of chickens. He doesn’t like them to the point he can’t stand being next to one. One would think that he has some sort of phobia about chickens or something but he quickly denies that and simply states that he just can’t stand them. Whether it’s a phobia or not, I can’t help but find it adorable considering the things he’s done in the past.

I finish getting dress and once I’m done, I give a last look at Gino sleeping before leaving the room. I gently shut the door, being careful not to do any unnecessary noise. I’m not exactly sure why every morning I always try to make as little noise as possible when I know it wouldn’t bother Gino in the slightest. I don’t even finish getting ready by using our bathroom just so I don’t disturb him even though he has stated time and time again that it wouldn’t.

I think ever since living together, the subject about the bathroom has been our biggest argument to date. It’s still our biggest argument to be honest. I refuse to use the master bathroom and he wants me to use it. He hates my reasoning about it and the argument never ends. It probably won’t end either but I guess it’s part of living with another. It’s still worth it though.

If someone would ask me if I regret any of this, I would tell them hell no. I’m living the life I’ve always wanted. I have a job that I love doing to death and now I have someone to share my life with. Someone that I could not imagine living without but I wish this gap between us would go away. There’s this gap that has been present ever since we’ve met two years ago and I thought it might have been due to Gino’s profession. So, when he came back a year later, I thought this gap would get smaller but it has remained the same and I don’t know why.

I push aside the thought for now as I quickly finish getting ready for the day and I’m out of the door. The sound of the waves washing ashore is the first thing that greets me as I step outside. I gently shut the door and take a minute to admire the first light of dawn. The night sky is starting to change colour as rays of bright yellow invade the darkness. Mesmerizing shades of oranges and reds slowly start to mix into the dark sky causing the ocean to sparkle.

I’ve made a habit to get up early just to be able to see the first rays of light. It’s something I promised to myself when I used to live in Tokyo. I promised myself if I ever were to live outside of the big districts that I would indulge in the beauty of nature. It’s simply something I feel makes my days much better and I’d love to be able to drink a cup of coffee on the front porch with Gino but the guy just doesn’t want to get up in the morning. I’ve tried to get him to do this at least once ever since we started living together but he just doesn’t…

Maybe one day… Sometimes I think my expectations might have been simply too high towards Gino. Perhaps the problems that we might have could be on me but I feel like Gino could put in a bit more effort into this relationship. I feel like I put more work into making this relationship work than he does and it’s frustrating. Perhaps he’s seeking a way out but can’t bring himself to tell me because he might not want to hurt my feelings. If that’s the case, he should just say so but then again I wish it does not come to that. I love that man.

I step down the steps of the patio and make my way to my car, wasting little time getting in. Igniting the engine followed by music blazing through the speakers and I drive off. The streets are quiet, most people are still asleep at this hour. The ones awake are either getting ready to start a new day or on their way to work. So many just living their lives without a care in the world as they go through their everyday lives not knowing about what is going on around them.

To be honest though, I didn’t think anyone would have bought that story about Gino having been taken as a hostage due to the task force’s failed raid. After all, his attire was not that of a civilian and yet no one batted an eye about it. Actually, the press couldn’t get enough of it. The police chief’s only son returned home after being away for over a decade only to be held hostage by the leader of the Yakuza clan. It didn’t matter on what news channel you would look at, you would find that story. The press sure did a great job in depicting Gino like some innocent soul and not to mention how much attention he was getting from the ladies. Can’t say that I hate it but I know it’s far from the truth. I will never be able to forget that day. So many deaths, kills that he did by himself without receiving a single scratch until I arrived that is. If I had not, I’m sure he would have killed Kasei that day and maybe it would have been better that way but I couldn't let him further dirty his hands.

The drive to the police station was relatively short all thanks to the lack of traffic. If only it would be like that all day. When I finish my shift, traffic is crazy. It takes me almost an hour just to get home. In the morning, if it took me thirty minutes to get to work it would be the max and probably due to some holiday or event. On regular days, it just takes me about fifteen minutes and today is one of those days.

Everything has become somewhat a routine. Wake up, get up, get ready, leave for work, do the actual work, drive back home, spend some time with Gino, go to sleep and then start all over the next day. Although I have everything I’ve always wanted, I hate the routine. I hate having to do the same things over and over. I want some change once in a while, something different but Gino seems fine doing the same things over and over again. I don’t know how he does it. Doesn’t he get bored?

He’s got to do something else other than staying at the beach house all day. I call it bullshit that he only manages the apartment complexes downtown. I’d be willing to bet that he does other things during the day and I have my doubts about what it might be. The thing is, I haven’t been able to prove it. Leaving Gino with all that money was a bad idea on Pops’ part. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. All of that money should have been confiscated from him back then.

I pull into the station’s parking lot and quickly pick a parking spot as I wonder what kind of shit I might receive today. It has been relatively quiet ever since Kasei was taken out but this peace and quiet won’t last forever. It’s only a matter of time until another comes and all hell breaks loose. Sasayama has joked around a few times not to worry about Yakuzas coming back because all we’ll have to do is send in Gino to take them out in one clean swoop. The thing is, I think if we would offer it to Gino he might actually do it and I want to avoid that at all cost.

I turn the key in the ignition, killing the engine before stepping out of the car and quickly make my way into the station. I shouldn’t be trying to think about things that have not yet come to pass or been proven accurate until the time comes. The only thing I should be thinking about is how I will enjoy myself with Gino tonight. Perhaps I should surprise him with something. He does after all appreciate the small gestures.

“So what’s new?” I ask as I enter the office, catching Sugo’s attention away from his monitors.

“Absolutely nothing.” Sugo answers as I sit down at my desk while Sasayama keeps on throwing balls of paper into a trash can in the distance.

“With the Yakuza off the island, it’s been relatively quiet.” Sasayama voices out and that’s true but he better not get used to this tranquility. We all know that it’s not going to last no matter how much we would like it to stay this way. Unfortunately it will not and we have to deal with that.

“Until another comes.” Sugo says and I couldn’t have said it better myself. Until another comes and that unknown is dangerous. Until comes another who could be even more dangerous than Kasei was or less of a threat. It’s something we won’t know until it happens and that unknown can result in a lot of unnecessary innocent deaths.

“I’d be willing to bet there are already Yakuzas on the island right now. They just haven’t made their presence known.” I state and I’d be willing to bet that there is. I would dip my hands in an open flame if there wasn’t a group lurking about. “Anyway, anything new Sugo?” I ask Sugo again of which he lets out a sigh much to my annoyance.

“Kougami, you’ve been asking the same question for three months straight. I’ll answer the same thing I answered on Monday. There’s nothing. Give it a rest.” He answers, not bothering to hide his own frustration towards my question. Okay, maybe I’ve been a little annoying about the issue but I just can’t shake off this bad feeling. Yes I’ve been asking him the same question all week and he always gives me the same answer but I have to make sure. I know something is up. “Seriously, how long will you keep this up?” Sugo asks and that’s a hard question. I guess until I make sure that everything is clear. That there is absolutely nothing going on here.

“I just have a hard time believing that he’s put his old life behind him. That’s all.” I tell him and it’s the truth. I just can’t believe that he put everything behind him just like that. It doesn’t change the fact that Gino used to kill people for a living and for a high price. It doesn’t matter if the ones he took down were terrorists and other bad individuals, he still killed a lot of people and he made quite a profit out of it as well.

“Kougami… Ginoza pretty much stays home all day. Watching him on a screen, spying on his every move in his own home is beyond disturbing.” Sugo states and to be honest it’s not that bad. I only set up a few cameras in the house like the kitchen, bedroom and the living area. I’ve placed a few cameras outside but none in our personal space. Like Sugo can’t see Gino when he’s taking a shower or getting dressed unless Gino decides to get dress right on the bed that is. I don’t get what he’s fussing about. By all means, he’s being paid to watch Gino all day. What’s not to love?

“Don’t look at me. I’m not going to spy on your lover, Kou.” Sasayama quickly adds when I look over to him as my next potential watcher. “Besides, if you make me spy on your lover it will only mean you want me to take him off your hands.” He adds just as quickly and now that’s something I would like to avoid. Not that Gino would even bother himself with Sasayama in the first place. He’s not Gino’s type after all but I wouldn't want to test Sasayama.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” I voice out as I log into the security monitors and the camera footage become live on my screen. “Doesn’t anyone think it’s hard to believe that Gino just decided to ditch killing people just like that?” I ask as I see Gino coming down the stairs.

“No.” Sasayama and Sugo answers at the same time with an uninterested tone in their voices.

I don’t get it. Why is it just me who thinks this is weird? That I have a hard time believing that Gino is now living life straight. There’s so much he can do while I’m at work and I know he’s relatively good at hiding things when he doesn’t want anyone to know.

I force myself to push out the thought from my mind for now. At this point, it doesn’t matter what I think, Sugo and Sasayama are not even taking me seriously. They won’t listen to what I have to say until I have physical proof that Gino has derailed. And the thing is, even if Gino has derailed and has fallen back into his old life pattern, I will still love him. I just want to help him as much as I can. Is it so wrong? I return my gaze towards my monitor and I see Gino walk out of the camera view with a duffel bag. This is it!

“Gino’s up to something.” I voice out catching the attention of my colleagues.

“What? Is he baking a cake and it’s chocolate?” Sugo quickly shoots back rather sarcastically without much interest.

“If he is baking a cake, now that would be odd.” Sasayama joins in afterwards with the same sarcasm as he adds, “Gino hates cake.”

“No seriously. He’s up to something. He’s behaving strange.” I further urge. These two really need to start taking things more seriously.

“You know what. I’ll drive over there and inspect the situation to help calm your nerves down.” Sugo finally says as he stands up much to my delight. Especially since I know it’s not my mind playing tricks on me. I know that Gino is hiding something from me and I will find out what it is. “But I swear to god if I go there and there’s nothing strange or suspicious I’ll smack you.” He adds.

“Thank you Sugo.” I acknowledge but he won’t be smacking me any time soon since I know I’m right and today is the day I catch Gino right handed.

**XXX**

* * *

 

**Chapter 1.5**

**Sugo**

I can’t believe him sometimes. The things that he comes up with are often on the verge of madness and yet no one ever says anything. Not that it would matter. Kougami always ends up getting what he wants. Doesn’t matter what it is or how long he has to work for it, he always wins in the end even if he doesn’t deserve it and it’s just infuriating.

We’re both outsiders on this island since neither of us were born in the Okinawa Prefecture. I’m from Kanagawa Prefecture while Kougami is from the more prestige Tokyo Prefecture and even though I held more experience in the field in forensic when it came down to getting the position of detective in Naha, I got beat by Kougami. I didn’t hold any resentment against him since I know he’s good at what he does but there’s still a part of me that can’t be satisfied with that. At the end of the day, I know that position should have gone to me since I had more experience. For a detective, experience under your belt should be what speaks for you and not where you're from.

I still can’t believe that he’s making me leave the station just so I can go see what Ginoza is up to which is probably nothing. I don’t understand why Kougami keeps on insisting that Ginoza is up to something. For crying out loud the guy has been living a normal life ever since he came back from whatever he was doing.

Seriously!!! If Kougami has so little trust in Ginoza, perhaps it’s a sign that he shouldn’t be with him in the first place. By all means, it’s not fair for Ginoza at all who has been living a clean life ever since returning to Naha. I might only have known Ginoza for a short period of time but I know for a fact that he’s honest. On more than one occasion I’ve witnessed Ginoza’s honesty and he wouldn’t spur up lies in order to try and cover his ass. He’ll say the truth even if it might hurt him afterwards so I don’t see where Kougami’s distrust comes from. If I were Kougami, I’d be careful in the way he’s behaving towards Ginoza. After all, there’s no erasing what Ginoza was. He may no longer be an assassin but that survival instinct he gained during those years is probably still there. It wouldn’t surprise me if Ginoza has his own suspicions about Kougami’s doubts towards him and that alone can be very dangerous for Kougami.

I slowly drive down the road leading to the residential parking lot and swiftly park the car before killing the engine. I let out a sigh before stepping out of the car and start making my way towards Ginoza’s beach house. From a distance, everything is calm and nothing seems out of the ordinary in the slightest. Actually, to be honest the property has greatly improved since Ginoza took over. Everything seems more alive and I must say the beach has never been cleaner.

A month after Ginoza returned, he started a project to create more privacy between the Oceanside and the road by building a three level retaining wall. Each level contain their own variety of shrubs and low maintenance plants which pretty much hides the sight of the road and cuts down on the traffic noise almost completely. After the retaining wall was completed, he constructed our own private parking spots at the top with a roofing composed of solar panels which is then connected to the beach houses and the various light poles he had installed on the levels of the retaining wall to create lighting when we walk down the steps. The whole project took three months to complete and of course Kougami complained about it from start to finish. He was the first one to praise the idea once it was finished though which was not too surprising in the slightest.

I have to admit that Ginoza has a mind for architecture. He gets ideas and sometimes it sounds ridiculous but once he completes his project you understand the functionality such as the retaining wall on the beach. It didn’t make much sense to anyone why he would build a wall there but it made complete sense once it was completed though. With the rising tide, we would always lose a huge chunk of beach at night which was a hassle but after that wall was built, it was just high enough to keep the rising tide at bay making the wooden pier no longer necessary.

Ginoza’s house is quiet as usual as I climb up the steps and proceed to knock on the door. I open the door when I hear Ginoza call out to come in. That alone hints me that he's got nothing to hide.

“Hey…” I voice out as I enter only to be hit with confusion when I see Ginoza with his hands stained in blood. He doesn’t seem alarmed or worried but if Kougami saw him with bloodstained hands on the video feed that would explain his reaction but I’m sure there must be some sort of explanation. “What are you doing?” I quickly ask.

“Providing first aid.” He calmly replies and I start looking around for any signs of human life.

“To what?” I ask and he points towards the living room and I head there in all haste only to see an injured puppy curled up in a ball in a makeshift bedding. “What happened?” I further ask.

“I’m not exactly sure.” Ginoza answers as he wipes his bloodstained hands in a towel and continues, “I found him hiding under the porch this morning.”

“You did a good job tending to its wounds.” I voice out but the small thing doesn’t look good in my opinion. The pup is breathing quite hard and it’s really hard to see the extent of the damage. His fur is stained in so much blood that I fear it might have internal bleeding. “Are you sure he doesn’t need to see a vet?” I ask.

“I checked in case there might be some bone fractures or perhaps internal injuries. He seems fine.” Ginoza states calmly and I guess if the pup had serious injuries Ginoza would know since he’s probably seen quite a few variety of injuries in the past but still. I can’t believe how calm he is when it comes to things like that. I for one would not be able to tend to injuries of that caliber. “The injuries are external and although he looks to be in bad shape, it’s not so bad.” Ginoza adds.

“Smart boy-” I start saying as I go to pet the small pup only for the little bundle to shift away from me which is only reasonable. It must be afraid of me, perhaps it even thinks I might want to hurt it more. “You were smart enough to come to the right location.” I choose to say but I don’t try to touch it any further as he looks at me with those small eyes.

“Why are you here?” Ginoza asks, snapping me out of my thoughts. I don’t look away from the pup, I don’t dare to look him in the eyes in fear he’ll see right through me.

“I was in the area and Kougami messaged me if I could stop by. You know him, always worrying for your wellbeing.” I lie much to my annoyance. I hate lying, there’s never any good that comes from dishonesty.

“Sure he does.” Ginoza voices out before walking away and goes to the kitchen as I shortly hear the sound of water running.

What does he mean by that? It’s like he doesn’t believe that Kougami ever worries about him which is odd if you’re in a relationship with someone. If you don’t think they care about you then why are you still with them?

“Is everything okay between you two?” I ask as I join Ginoza in the kitchen. “You don’t have to answer; it’s none of my business.” I quickly add as he wipes his clean hands dry with a clean towel.

“Perhaps you should ask that to Kougami.” He says and that gives me a bad taste in my mouth. If Ginoza has doubts about Kougami’s activity towards him, it could be very dangerous. It feels like Ginoza is interrogating me in order to see if I will tell him the truth that he already knows or suspects. I could be wrong but it sure feels that way. “I could swear that he’s hiding something.” He adds and I can feel my heart pounding a little harder but I manage to remain calm. I swear if Ginoza doesn’t know, I will eat my shirt. This man knows something is up. He just knows.

“Have you talked to him about it?” I ask as I try to make myself seem as natural as possible.

“No, not yet. I want to make sure in case it is in fact nothing. I don’t want to spark any unnecessary arguments over nothing.” He admits and that makes sense so does that mean he suspects something but can’t put his finger on it? If so, I’m good but, Kougami needs to stop playing this game. It will end badly for him. “But, one thing I do know is that Kougami isn’t the same. Sometimes living with him feels like he’s looking for a reason to leave.” Ginoza adds and that’s a shocker or is it? It does feel like Kougami is seeking something in order to use against Ginoza. Perhaps he is trying to get out of this relationship and if that’s the case he just needs to leave and stop playing with people’s head.

“I’m sorry.” I voice out as I follow him back in the living room as I catch a glance of Kougami’s things scattered around the place which makes the living area messy and untidy.

“If he wants to leave I’m not stopping him nor can I force him to stay.” Ginoza says as he starts rearranging the clutter and I can tell Kougami’s lack of cleanliness is something that's starting to get on Ginoza’s nerves. Considering his old profession and how good he was, I know for a fact that everything needs to be in order for him to function and this clutter must be draining him mentally. I for one know how he feels all too well. “It is what it is.” Ginoza further adds, not bothering to hide a discourage tone in his voice and yet I can’t tell if it bothers him or not that he’s feeling that Kougami is drifting away.

“You sound like you’re not too bothered about Kougami leaving. Not saying that he is, you just sound like you’re done.” I say and maybe I shouldn’t since it’s none of my business and I can understand if Ginoza is done with Kougami. The guy is a piece of work and he’s not easy to live with. “That it wouldn’t bother you if it was over between you two.” I add as he tosses some piece of clothing into a laundry basket.

“Don’t get me wrong. I do care about him but I wouldn’t fall into a state of depression just because Kougami decided to go elsewhere.” Ginoza tells me and that’s good but at the same time it’s sad that someone can push another so far away that they are ready for a split. “There’s a gap between us and it just keeps on getting bigger.” He adds and I believe him. The state of the house says as much. I can tell that Ginoza works hard to keep everything in order but Kougami just comes right behind and clutters everything up again and that's not okay.

The thing is, Ginoza doesn’t really have anything to lose if this relationship goes south. Kougami on the other has a lot to lose and I wonder if he even considers that. Knowing how he is, probably not. Lets say if tomorrow Ginoza and Kougami calls it quits. Kougami will be on the streets. He’ll have to find a new place to stay and I seriously doubt it that Ginoza would allow Kougami to reside in one of the beach houses here. Depending on how the relationship ends, Kougami might find himself in hot waters with the chief so if I were Kougami I would try to make things work with Ginoza. After all, Ginoza is a great guy. Respectful and thoughtful. Not to mention that he’s a hard worker with all those projects he has going, you just can’t complain with him. Kougami better realize what he has before it’s too late.

“Sorry to have bothered you.” I say as I give him a gentle smile before making my way out of the house.

I can’t help but feel sorry for Ginoza. He didn’t have to come back. He was free, he could have retired anywhere in the world and lived the rest of his life in peace. Instead, he came back home but more importantly he came back to Kougami which should mean a lot. You can say, he came back for him and in return he received a partner who doesn’t even trust him. Kougami should be ashamed of himself.

I quickly make my way up the stone steps and waste little time getting back into the police car and drive away as I wonder if Ginoza is fuming right now or maybe it’s just me. Kougami made me drive all the way out here in order to go see what Ginoza was up to which was absolutely nothing. It was exactly like I had predicted and it infuriates me.

It’s a good thing that it takes a bit over a dozen minutes to get to the precinct from the beach houses. At least I have some time to cool down but after this, Kougami better not expect me to take any further part in his idiotic plans. And, the next time he sends me to inspect Ginoza in order to try to get something on him; I won’t shy away from telling him the truth. The truth about everything that Kougami has done in the last year.

The road is becoming livelier as time progress as people start their day by either going to work or doing their daily errands. I’d say by the looks of it, I’ve returned to the precinct just in time. In an hour from now traffic will be slow and just getting somewhere will be a hassle. I’d hate to be stuck on the road when I know I have so much work to do. There’s no danger that Kougami will do it for me. It’d be a miracle if Sasayama would do it.

I drive into the parking lot and park the car, bringing it to a complete halt before killing the engine. I wish my frustration would have died down by now but my blood is still boiling. The short walk into the precinct won’t help to calm it down any further. Especially when I enter the building, the first thing I see is Kougami sitting at his desk watching his monitor as if still hoping to catch Ginoza in the act of doing something he’s not supposed to.

I enter the office and make my way straight towards Kougami and once I’m next to him I give him a hard smack in the back of the head before returning to my seat. I don’t even bother looking at the man as I sit down and I can only imagine the stare he must be giving me.

“What was that for!?” Kougami exclaims as if he’s the victim and that he hasn’t done anything wrong. The nerve of that man is just unbelievable.

“You’re a jackass.” I shoot back before shifting my gaze towards him and add, “Ginoza wasn’t doing anything shady or suspicious.”

“What was he doing?” Kougami inquires and I just feel like taking whatever is on my desk and just throw it at him.

“Congratulations!” I voice out and add, “You now have a puppy.”

“A what!?” He blurts out immediately as if he had heard incorrectly.

“A puppy.” I repeat.

“Ginoza got a puppy without even discussing it with me first?” He voices out in a rather hurt tone. Like it would matter if Ginoza would get a puppy without discussing it with him first anyway. After all, Kougami is gone pretty much all day and not to mention how often he goes to Tokyo now for police work. Another job I had applied for and did not get.

“Calm down. The puppy was hiding under your porch this morning.” I inform him, not like I was oblige to but I’d hate for him to give Ginoza any grief over it. “It’s in bad shape. Ginoza administered first aid to it which is what he was doing when you jumped to the conclusion that he was up to something strange.” I further explain.

“Oops, my bad.” He says ever so casually as if it was nothing at all. Like his accusation towards Ginoza should just be ignored now and he won’t even admit that he was wrong. “What?” He asks after a bit of silence.

“You know Ginoza has suspicions that you’re hiding something from him. I had to control myself from telling him that he was right. That his lover set up several cameras in his own home to spy on his every move.” I tell him.

“What did you tell him?” He dare ask and I think I should have said something. I feel as if this dishonesty will haunt me later and I will loath Kougami if that happens.

“Nothing.” I admit truthfully. “Perhaps I should have because I feel sorry for him.” I add and Kougami’s expression suddenly changed. Not that it surprises me, we always have to agree with Kougami with everything and when you don’t take his side, he acts all hurt. Like he’s the misunderstood victim. It’s rather annoying to say the least.

“You feel sorry for him? You’re taking his side when you don’t even know mine.” He shoots back, not like I wasn’t expecting him to do so.

“Alright then. What is your side?” I ask, not bothering to hide my disinterest in my tone because I know he doesn’t have a side.

“It’s not easy living with Gino. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great and I love him. I really do but sometimes I wonder if he feels the same way.” He says and even though I shouldn’t be surprised, I still can’t believe that he’s turning this on Ginoza. That if they are having any issues, it’s all Ginoza’s fault. He should be careful, considering how I’ve lived with him as a roommate for so long; I know firsthand how much of a pain he is. Ginoza is definitely patient so I have to give him the credit that he deserves.

“And what makes you think that?” I ask as I try to put some interest in his make believe issues.

I could be wrong but Ginoza doesn’t appear like the type of person to stick around someone if he doesn’t care about them. I’m pretty sure he does things to show that he cares in his own ways. He seems to be quite a private individual who doesn’t do anything grand but a lot of little things. Compared to Kougami, he’s flashy, outgoing and definitely not very private which might be a source of conflict between the two. I’d be a fool to think that Ginoza and Kougami don’t have any arguments or fights from time to time. All couples do get them but it all depends on how they deal with them is the key.

“You know, we’ve been living together for almost a year now.” Kougami starts with the most obvious thing and continues, “Guess how many times we’ve gotten busy.”

“I’d rather not.” I voice out and I just want to slap myself in the face. If he dares say that their biggest conflict is sex, I’m just going to lose it. Not that it would surprise me considering how many hookups Kougami did night after night when we were roommates but still. Grow up Kougami!

“Zero.” He blurts out in a rather offended tone as he repeats himself again, “Fucking zero, Sugo!”

I thought perhaps he was spying on Ginoza over the fact that he believed that Ginoza was still living dirty behind his back and that he was hoping to catch him red handed. Perhaps there's a bit of that in there. But now, it makes a bit more sense. Especially the locations the cameras are located in the house. They are at locations where it would probably be choices to have sex. The dining table, the kitchen island, the couch in the living area and the bedroom. They're all in places where one would have sex except for the bathroom which I'm grateful for but still it is rude and disrespectful in every possible way.

I should have caught on to that and by the look Sasayama is giving Kougami; I’d say that he’s thinking the exact same thing as me. Kougami is hoping to catch Ginoza with another in order to justify why they’re not having sex as much as Kougami would like.

“Perhaps you don’t have the right touch Kou.” Sasayama voices out and I have to control myself from laughing at that statement. I know it just rubbed Kougami the wrong way since he’s never been shy to brag about how great he is in bed. Not like we ever wanted to know but I’ve always said if you have to brag about your endeavours, you can’t be that great.

“I had the right touch before we started living together.” Kougami states.

“You mean you had the right touch in coaxing a mentally unstable person into having sex with you?” Sasayama shoots back and that would make more sense.

No one can make me believe otherwise that Ginoza’s mental state was fragile a year ago. I wouldn’t say to the point that he was a fragile flower. He wasn’t powerless but he was on the verge of a mental breakdown and exhaustion. All of that alone puts a toll on your psychs so if we were to take the current Ginoza as he is right now, I seriously doubt it that Kougami would have been lucky. I’m pretty sure if Kougami were to meet Ginoza for the first time right now, he wouldn’t stand a chance. Ginoza wouldn’t even give him a second glance. That I’m most certain of.

“What I’m saying is that when Gino came back, things were different. I thought we could just continue from where we left off. I knew things wouldn’t be exactly the same but I never imagined this.” Kougami states in his defence and I just can’t help but roll my eyes. What the hell did he expect? Of course things wouldn’t be the same and he hasn’t even taken into consideration about Ginoza’s own sex drive. Perhaps for Kougami, having sex every day is normal and not excessive but perhaps for Ginoza it’s a lot for him. Not everyone is the same and Kougami should put that in his thick head. Considering how many failed relationships he’s had in the past all due to his over active sex drive would have thought him a lesson by now. I guess not.

“How tragic.” I say sarcastically as I look through my files.

“Shut up Sugo. What do you know. You’re single as fuck.” Kougami quickly barks back like being single is such a sin. I’d rather be single as fuck like he says than being in a relationship with someone like him.

“Now that’s a burn.” Sasayama blurts out as he throws a ball of paper towards the trashcan and misses.

“And that is my choice.” I say, not like I had to but it is a state of fact and I wouldn’t go crazy about the fact that I’m single either. If it ever becomes a problem, I know exactly what to do and that’s to fine someone to share my life with and right now, I’m not looking for that. “If the lack of sex is something that bothers you, then why don’t you talk about it with Ginoza instead of being all moody about it?” I further add and that’s the logical thing to do.

Ginoza earlier said that he had his doubts that Kougami is hiding something from him. He advised the reason why he hasn’t said anything is because he can’t say for sure if his suspicions are accurate or not so he doesn’t act on them. However, he hasn’t turn to spying on Kougami to help prove his suspicions though unlike Kougami. If Kougami can’t stand not having some actions under the sheets then that is something he should bring forward to Ginoza. By all means, Ginoza probably doesn’t even know that this is an issue to begin with. I’m pretty sure if Ginoza knew, he’d probably put in some effort in trying to satisfy his partner. However, if Kougami wants Ginoza to give him what he wants, then he should start giving too. For starters, he's way too hard on Ginoza and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who thinks so.

“I still say that you’re not doing the right thing. If you want some action, you might want to put in some work into your seduction.” Sasayama voices out and that I must agree. It’s pretty much a no brainer that you need to put the other in the mood and I’m pretty sure Kougami put in more effort a year ago to get lucky with Ginoza as well. Now he’s just being sloppy. “Probably picking up after yourself would be a great bonus.” Sasayama adds and this time, I can’t hold in a laugh only to get a sharp glare in return from Kougami.

“And what is that supposed to have anything to do with me getting laid?” Kougami asks and technically the answer is everything. I don’t know but if I was dating someone and they were living with me. If I had to do everything around the house, I sure as hell would not want to have sex with them. I’d be tired as hell and all I would like to do would be sleeping.

“Oh, I don’t know Kou. Perhaps if Gino didn’t have to do everything around the place all by himself, perhaps he would have more energy for being busy under the sheets.” Sasayama finally says it. “Not to mention that he works on maintaining the apartment complex running, handling the tenants and if I’m not mistaken he’s working on a new project for a few months now.” He adds.

Ginoza owns the private beach houses but he also owns a large apartment complex that holds over twenty condos. All of those condos must be managed and that takes time out of someone’s days. Sometimes there’s not much to do but at other times the tenants can be demanding when it comes to their condos needing repairs. And that’s not to mention the new project that Ginoza has on the table. I’m not exactly sure what it is but there is something in the work on a plot of land that he bought a few months ago near a beach. Right now the plot of land is being worked on in order to prepare construction but I have no idea what it will be. If it will be more condos or something else. We’ll have to wait.

“I have to agree with Sasayama on that one.” I state and add, “I stopped by and I can easily see that you live there.”

“Gino works at home so he’s not that tired and I do help around.” Kougami tells us and both of his statement are cringe worthy.

How can he think just because Ginoza is home all day that he doesn’t get tired? Cleaning a house and picking up after yourself and someone else is draining and knowing how Ginoza is, he likes things to be clean and proper. Knowing that, the guy probably cleans almost every day just to keep the place clean. I’m pretty sure before Kougami moved in he didn’t have to clean as much as he does right now. And I know for a fact that Kougami doesn’t help around the house at all.

“What do you do to help Ginoza around your home?” I ask as I wait for an answer from Kougami for a few seconds but none come and I continue, “You can’t answer because it’s nothing. We all know you can’t cook.”

“You don’t do the dishes either.” Sasayama adds.

“He doesn’t do laundry.” Shion adds as she walks by the office and that just adds the cherry on the icing. I for one can vouch for Shion that Kougami never did his laundry when we were roommates. He would actually pay Shion for her to do his laundry and if that’s not pathetic, I don’t know what is.

“Thanks Shion!” Sasayama shouts back.

“Out of all of us here, I know firsthand how it feels like living with you and trust me it’s a pain in the ass. You should be a bit more considerate about Ginoza’s feelings and actually do a bit more. The person you live with is not your maid or your slave.” I lecture Kougami and I’m hoping that he will listen to us for once.

Kougami is not a bad guy, he has his strong points and he is a dependable friend and I would trust him with my life on the field but he really needs to work on his weak points. His weak points are killing his relationships and he needs to get his act together before its too late. Ginoza will only endure just so much before he kicks Kougami to the curb. The thing is and I think Kougami fails to realize this is that no matter what, Ginoza will always have a wall to protect himself. With that being said, Ginoza will never allow himself to be completely invested in a relationship unless he sees that the other is doing equal effort in the relationship. This is a defensive mechanism to protect himself so he doesn’t get hurt. So, with that wall still up, breaking with Kougami will be relatively easy for him so Kougami should really be careful.

“I never said that Gino was my maid or a slave!” Kougami barks back rather offended but I’m hoping that he realizes that he needs to work harder if he doesn’t want his relationship to end.

“If I were you Kou, I’d be careful with how you treat Gino. He’s fine now but you don’t want to play with his head too much.” Sasayama voices out catching Kougami’s attention. “Don’t forget what he was. No matter what, that will never go away so don’t push him to fall back into that.” He adds and there’s that. We all know that Ginoza could have killed Kougami a year ago if he had wanted but he didn’t because Kougami was not a rogue cop. That’s the only thing that saved him back then. If it had not been for that, Kougami wouldn’t be here right now and he should know that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Sasayama**

I should have pulled the plug on this nonsense the moment it started. To begin with, what Kou was doing was against the law. You can’t just invade someone’s privacy like that even if you have suspicions of fowl play.

To have the right to actively monitor someone, you need a warrant from a judge. You also need to be able to present good reasons as to why you need to keep those people on constant surveillance. Normally, if those said people don’t pose a threat to the mass then immediately the judge will not grant you the right to monitor them. It’s simple as that and I know for a fact that Kou did not get permission from a grand judge. Let alone, I know the chief was unaware of it altogether.

To be honest, I didn’t say anything when Kou planted those cameras around the house because I thought it wouldn’t last long. I thought nothing of it and why should I? Kou isn’t usually the type to be paranoid or suspect those close to him. Although, Gino has changed a lot since the time we were in high school. I still see the old traits that I remember in his daily behavior though so I know his old self is still in there.

Two years ago when Gino came back, there was something wrong in his eyes. They were cold, they were distant and he never smiled. His facial expression was blank as if he was completely void of all emotions. Even after he was caught by law enforcement, injured and lying in a hospital bed the Gino I had once known was gone. It felt like I was looking at an empty shell and even though I tried to get conversations going at the hospital, he wouldn’t talk to me much and then one day he was gone.

“What are you doing here?” Gino’s sudden voice snaps me out of my thoughts as I hear the door close.

“I was passing by.” I answer as I continue petting the small pup.

At first, the small bundle of fur was fearful. It wouldn’t even let me get close to it for a second and then I started to take down the cameras and slowly it started to allow its curiosity to get the better of itself. It didn’t take too long and the pup would follow me around the house and now we’re best buds. I have to say, this pup will make a great dog. It’s not old and already it has the intelligence to listen.

“I mean what are you doing in my house?” Gino inquires and there’s not much I can say. Obviously I can’t tell him that I came here to dismantle cameras that were hidden around the house in order to watch his every move.

“I didn’t want to stay outside.” I choose to say as I stand up and watch the pup sit in front of me with its tail wagging.

“You know that’s called breaking and entering.” He voices out as he walks past me into the kitchen and I know by his tone he doesn’t really care. Not like he ever cared in the past when I would enter his house unannounced.

It was basically the joke of the week back then. How can I manage to enter in different ways? The worst one was when I thought it be a great idea to enter the house by entering through his bedroom window. Of course I managed to do that without any issues what so ever. Only thing though was that I had forgotten that there were neighbors and they called the cops thinking I was a burglar. Great times!

“Not if you know where the key is hidden.” I reply back and walk over to the kitchen with the small pup following in tow as I watch Gino take some items out of a grocery bag.

“You never change.” He states and maybe that’s true. Probably not since we can’t all remain the same with the running years but I love to think that I have't changed much.

Gino is one person who has changed the most and yet hasn’t changed at all. Two years ago was a different story and I strongly believed that he was truly gone. The only brink of hope I had for him was the morning after he disappeared from the island. There was a small glassed dragonfly on my night table that wasn’t there the night before. I knew he was the one who laid it there before he left but I didn’t put much hope up. I was hoping that he would return and perhaps he’d come back to me and he did return a year ago but just not to me.

It’s always someone else. Once back in high school I thought we might become more but it never flourished into anything. I preferred his friendship over not having anything at all but it is frustrating. Especially when I know his current interest doesn’t trust him and without trust what is there?

“You seem pale today.” I voice out catching his attention as he closes the door of the pantry. Although Gino has always had a pale complexion, at least there was some life in his skintone. Right now, there’s nothing.

“I’m fine.” He quickly tells me as he continues unloading the last grocery bag and adds, “It’s nothing to worry about.”

“If it was something not to worry about, you wouldn’t say not to worry about it so what is it?” I quickly shoot back but I can't shake this bad feeling down in my gut.

“No seriously. It’s nothing to worry about.” He says again and I hate it when he does that. The last time he told me that very same thing, he ended up in the hospital with sepsis after his knee surgery turned bad. “My lung still hasn’t fully healed.” He finally admits after an awkward silence and I don’t like it one bit.

Gino is not the type to complain when he doesn’t feel well. Back when he had his knee surgery, he wouldn’t take his pain medication. He would constantly state that it didn’t really hurt and that he didn't really need them. And then, bit by bit, he started going downhill. He was becoming weaker with a constant chill to a point that he had become frighteningly pale in such a short period of time. It was pops who rushed Gino to the ER after his heart rate increased and the fever kept on persisting no matter what Gino took or did.

So now, seeing Gino pale like this and that he's saying that he’s having issues with his lung that was punctured two years ago worries me. His lung is weak and that can lead to sepsis again.

“Are you in pain?” I ask.

“It’s not painful, just a bother.” He admits. “I’m responsible enough to take care of myself.” He adds as he pulls out a prescription bottle out of the drawer of the kitchen island.

“Is there complications?” I further ask.

“Water has built up on my lung. Doctor says that I got an early stage of pulmonary edema which is not unusual with the injury I had.” He explains.

I wish he would have told me that he had a light case of pneumonia or bronchitis. Pulmonary edema can be life threatening if not treated properly. I walk over to the kitchen island and I take one of the bottles that Gino took out and this one is a diuretic which will help to remove the water on his lung while the other one is simply a mild pain killer. I wish it would have been an antibiotic.

“Is Kou aware?” I ask since I don’t recall Kou ever mentioning that Gino was ill. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Kou doesn’t even know that there is something wrong with Gino’s lung.

“No. He hasn’t noticed.” Gino admits and continues, “I haven’t bothered telling him because I don’t feel like entering a pointless argument over the matter.”

“I get your reasoning but you still should let him know.” I advise and technically Kou does have the right to know as well. He was whining earlier that he wasn’t getting any sex from Gino ever since they got together. Well, since he has pulmonary edema of course he won’t have any energy to think about sex. That condition can drain someone and by all means, Gino should be resting.

“I don’t have the energy for that right now.” He tells me and I can just imagine.

“Get some rest…” I tell him and he nods but I know he won’t do it. Gino is much too stubborn and proud for that. The thing is that I know he can’t sit still for very long. He always needs to do something but right now; I wish he would listen to his body for once.

**XXX**

* * *

 

**Chapter 2.1**

**Ginoza**

My projects are starting to take shape and I can slowly start seeing my vision becoming a reality. I haven’t announced to the public what the complex I’m building will be. Most people have started spreading rumours that it will be another apartment complex but it’s not. I guess it’s only natural for them to think so since an apartment complex are pretty much the only thing that gets built around here other than stores but what I have in mind is nothing close.

To be honest though, it did however cross my mind to build an apartment complex. The location would have been perfect in order to lure tenants since it’s so close to the beach. The tenants would basically have their own piece of beach to use but I started thinking that the large lot had so much potential. And not to mention, Naha does not need more apartment complexes either. What it needs is something that will create employment and provide things to do for a wide variety of people of all ages.

This is without a doubt the biggest project I’ve taken but if everything can go right, it will help shape Naha even more. We have the population to grow but that’s not enough if Naha is to compete with the larger cities such as Tokyo. We need to be able to attract people from the outside so it can continue to grow and a convention center will help with that big time.

Convention centers can greatly boost the economy of a city. Its utility is diverse and can be shaped into anything you can image if you build it the right way. These large buildings are so huge; they can be used for a variety of events which can be as simple as a wedding reception or becoming a shelter to thousands during a disaster.

Many people think that a convention center is only to host trade shows but it can be so much more than that. This is why it’s highly important that you decide what you want before development is under way cause if you want to add something else while construction is under way, chances are you won’t be able to depending on what it is.

For my convention center, I’ve decided that an interior ice rink would be necessary for starters. It would have to be accessible year round in order to facilitate our locale figure skaters so they don’t have to go abroad in order to train for their upcoming competitions. Because I need an all year round ice rink, I can’t thaw it down in order to accommodate other sports so a second arena will also be necessary as well. Both arenas will be next to each other divided by a thick and solid concrete wall and everything will have to be sound proof. It is crucial that all the floors are to be sound proof which will cause no compromise no matter who is renting a venue on the other floors.

I don’t have a complex idea for the building. Most people prefer everything to be simple so the layouts must be smooth and clean. I want the main floor to be a large lobby that you can go around all the way back to the reception. And, in order to go to the location you desire, you will have options. For the arena and the ice rink you can only get there by going down the stairs into the basement. As for the other levels, people will have the choice of taking the stairs or the elevators.

The second floor of the building, I will have an auditorium and a concert hall. There will be bathrooms on every floor to make things more convenient. Anyhow, these two venues will be able to host a large quantity of people at a time so I’d really hate for them to be on the upper floors since it’s going to be heavy. Especially since the stability of every building is much stronger at the bottom. I also want them to be spacious so the people will have room for movement. I’d really hate for them to feel overcrowded and also this way it should help to reduce the injury rate as well.

The third floor will be different and this is really where I need everything to be sound proof. This floor will have a lecture room, a couple of meeting rooms and a couple of conference rooms which will be ideal since they are all on high demands for business formations. This floor in particular, I will need to have it constantly occupied if I don’t want to lose profit and if there is too much noise, no one will want to rent it. The noise free locals will be a bonus and due to that, I will be able to charge a bit more as well.

The fourth floor will be aimed for the younger generation. It will be filled with various arcades and things for them to have a good time since the youth don’t have anything for them anymore. Some may say it’s a waste of time or a waste of money to spend but I don’t think so. Things like this help to keep kids busy which in turn keeps them from doing bad things. For a lot of teens, this place will be a safe haven for them and the next floor also has them in mind. The fifth floor will be sort of a study lounge for teens, college and university students. It will have sound proof cubicles that can hold five people so they can work on projects and study in silence. There will be computer stations around the room. There will also be tables as well around the room and to top it there will be a bistro-café.

Lastly, the sixth floor will be an empty venue that can be rented for various events such as wedding receptions, conventions and such. The room itself will be rather plain with neutral coloured walls so it will be easier to suit individuals’ taste of decorations for their event. In over all, I know this project will be a hit once it does its debut.

Two million square feet per level, with six storeys, it will be without a doubt a monster to say the least but it doesn’t end there. The beach will also be part of what the convention has to offer. There will be events held on the beach and when nothing is being thrown, well people will be able to go there for a nice day out. This center will be a mark of change in Naha. I have already spoken with the owner of the hotel right next to my center and he is more than willing to cooperate for lodging people who will be using the center for occasions such as conventions and business.

“I’m home.” I hear Kougami shout followed by the front door closing, snapping me out of my thoughts as I gaze down to look at the small ball of fur sleeping on my chest.

Sasayama voiced out before leaving this afternoon that Kougami wasn’t very fond of dogs. To be honest, it doesn’t really surprise me since he didn’t have one when I first met him. And second, it was only after Kougami moved out of his old home that Sugo got himself a dog of his own. He asked me for permission before getting one since he wasn’t sure if I would allow dogs in my houses. He did voice out that the old owner didn’t care so I know he could have had one before so I’ll assume that Kougami was the reason why Sugo never got one. So, I might have a bit of a problem into getting him to bend for this pup.

I hear Kougami walk up the stairs and a few minutes later he enters the bedroom. His eyes fixated onto the small pup that’s sleeping soundly on me and ask, “Where did the pup come from?”

“Don’t do that. You know very well where this pup came from.” I quickly respond as I gently stroke the pup on the head and add, “I know Sugo must have told you.”

“Yeah he did but I mean where did it come from?” He then asks and I’d wish he’d stop playing this kind of game of cluelessness. I’m not a fool. I know when Sugo, Akane or any of the others just spontaneously pop up at the house; I know it’s just to see what I’m doing. I know Kougami is sending them in order to get an update on my activities. I find his behavior quite frustrating. Sometimes I feel as if he's taking me for an idiot.

“I don’t know.” I reply with the only thing I could. How am I supposed to know where a stray dog came from? The animal was just there. End of story.

I watch Kougami walk around the room, putting his things away before taking his shirt off as he comes closer to the bed and looks down to gaze at the sleeping pup.

“Cute pup. Shouldn’t be too hard for it to get adopted.” He voices out with not much interest in his tone as he spoke.

I don’t have much right to call anyone cruel considering the things I’ve done. God knows I’ve done my fair share of cruelty but at least I wasn’t selfish. Sometimes, Kougami borderlines heartless with the things that he does and the things that he says. I don’t say anything about it because I don’t want to spark an endless argument but it’s a side of Kougami that I don’t like. No one is perfect, I’m sure there must be plenty of things that I do that annoy him and he keeps quiet about them so I choose to tolerate his flaws.

“Excuse me?” I shoot back as I sit up, waking the pup from its slumber as it looks up at me in confusion as to why he was so abruptly woken up.

“After the pup is brought to a shelter. Once it’s all healed up, it won’t be hard for it to get adopted.” Kougami quickly explains what he had initially meant which makes it even worst. I was expecting Kougami to be a little hard headed about it but he’s more than just hard headed concerning the subject.

I can understand a little bit his reasoning. Why bother putting time into an animal that is injured and basically not at a hundred percent. Not everyone would be willing to put in that extra time when they have the option of adopting an animal that is A-okay. To me, it really depends on the temperament of the animal. Even though I haven’t had this pup for long, I can see the potential this little animal has. It’s young but very obedient. Perhaps the obedience is a result of having been mistreated so much that now it just wants to please in order to be loved. I have to give it a chance and I’m sure this little fella will make a great companion.

“I’m not dropping this pup at a shelter Kougami. I’m keeping him.” I tell him as I gently lift the pup and lay him on the floor.

“Gino, I was thinking that we could get a dog but one that isn’t all beaten up.” Kougami replies back and that's just a plain lie. I know he would never have suggested it unless I would have brought it up.

“Now that would be illogical.” I quickly shoot back as I stare down at the pup that’s quietly sitting at my feet starring back at me with those little eyes as if it’s just waiting for instructions.

“I don’t want to be the bad guy here it’s just you made this decision without even talking to me about it first.” He voices out after a bit of silence and I guess I can understand where he’s coming from since I wouldn’t appreciate it if he made a decision without talking to me about it first.

Can’t say that he hasn’t done something without talking to me about it first though since he has. He didn’t ask me what I thought about taking a post in Tokyo. Okay, it’s not permanent and it’s just occasional but he has to be away for some time. Sometimes he may be gone for a week, other times it can stretch up to three. I understand why he took that position since it’s his job and it will allow him to advance higher and maybe eventually he might qualify for a position as chief of a department but that also means he’s away a lot.

“I can’t talk to you about something that I didn’t plan on to begin with but it’s here now and I don’t have the heart to abandon it. Especially since it’s such a good pup and I would like to keep him.” I tell him and it’s the truth. I didn’t call him at work because it wasn’t the place or time to do so and I personally would not like it if Kougami would bother me at work concerning something so minor. The only time I would call Kougami when he’s on duty is if it was an emergency of which this was not. “Kougami, I’m hoping that you will accept him.” I add.

“Of course I will. As long it makes you happy.” He says but I’m not convinced that he actually wants it. He’s just saying that because he doesn’t want to disappoint me. “I love you.” He adds as he wraps his arms around my waist and starts kissing my neck.

“Kougami… What are you doing?” I ask as I try to ignore the stinging sensation with each breath I take. It’s really starting to be a hassle.

“It’s been a long day… I want to be in you.” He says softly in my ear as I feel anger starting to build up within me. I don’t blame Kougami, his intentions are simply innocent and he only means well but I don’t have the patience for this right now. Especially not with this constant stinging in my lung.

“I don’t think so.” I say as I get out of Kougami’s hold and go straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth. All I want to do is just go to sleep and hope that I feel better tomorrow. I’m tired of feeling this way.

“Gino you’re killing me!” I hear Kougami call out from the bedroom as I apply toothpaste onto my tooth brush and start brushing my teeth quickly.

“You’re still breathing.” I voice out after I spit out the toothpaste in the sink as it goes down the drain along with the water from the faucet.

Kougami enters the bathroom and comes behind me and rest his hands on my shoulders and gently starts massaging my shoulders and I must admit that it does feel good but it’s the fact that I know why he’s doing it. His intentions are not so innocent right now and I get it, he wants more but I can’t give him more. I think this might be what kills us in the end. My needs are not the same as his and I think for Kougami it might be something important for him and that is not something I am willing to compromise. I shouldn’t have to and I won’t.

“You’re so tense.” He says as I feel his hands go down my back to my hips.

“I’m tired and I want to sleep.” I advise as I put my things away and proceed to quickly wash my face with a damp washcloth.

“And I have a remedy for a good night sleep.” Kougami adds as I feel his hands slip under my pants and that just ticks me off. I’ve been nice and I’ve told him that I’m tired so why can’t he get the message.

“Don’t do that.” I say as I push his hands away and I make my way out of the bathroom with Kougami in tow as I feel my patience quickly draining away. I wish he would just back off. I really can’t stand this right now. I’m having a hard time just enduring myself right now.

“Are you angry with me or something?” Kougami ask with a confused expression and even though he was being an ass right now, I can’t put it against him.

Sasayama told me earlier that I should tell Kougami that I’m not feeling well but if I do that, he’ll be a bigger bother. I know he means well but he always goes right to the extreme or right to the minimum. He can never stop in between and that alone is even more draining.

“Why would I be angry?” I ask in return as I curl up in my cuddler chair in the corner of the room as I try to ignore the hurt expression in Kougami’s face. I just don’t have the energy to deal with this kind of drama.

“Gino…” Kougami gently calls out as he takes a few steps towards me as if searching for his words before speaking. “We live together and yes we do share a bed but as far I can see that’s where it stops. We don’t do what couples do.”

I knew he was about to throw that in my face. It was just a matter of time but I won’t apologize for not going there when I don’t feel well. He says that we don’t do what couples do but he fails to realize that’s not what actually makes a couple. When sex is the base of a relationship, it never last. It’s sad to say but Kougami does not put his priorities at the right place. He never has and I only failed to see that sooner.

“We haven’t had sex-”

“I have a punctured lung if you already forgot and no it’s not fully healed yet even after two years.” I quickly cut him off as I try to control my temper. I won’t say that Kougami is at a fault since I understand where he’s coming from but for once I’d like for him to understand where I’m coming from.

I didn’t want to let Kougami know that I’ve been in pain ever since my injury. Although the pain has receded since the day of the incident, it just won’t go away. My lung just does not want to heal. It would seem like it’s always something right after another. When it looks like it might be healing it takes another turn for the worst. It’s always an infection and then another and another. Even though my doctor says that I won’t get another infection, it doesn’t feel that way.

“Are you in pain!?” Kougami quickly asks as he bolts towards me alarmed. As if I just told him the worst piece of information he’s ever heard.

“It’s not painful. Just a constant bother that is draining.” I lie about the pain. If I tell him that I am in pain, then he won’t let me be in peace for a second. He’ll force me to go to the E.R and I just don’t want to. I already have the necessary medication that I need.

“You should have told me that you’re not feeling well. I thought you were having second thoughts about us.” He tells me and this time I can tell that he’s genuine with the words he spoke. He’s not trying to play a game in order to get what he wants. He’s simply being honest and I wish he would be this way more often. If there is one thing that I hate is when people play games in order to get what they want. They disregard what the other wants as long as they get what they want. It’s selfish and I hate selfish individuals. “I lost you once. I don’t want to lose you again.” He adds and that stings as much as it is pleasing to hear.

He had lost me, he’s right about that. When I left, I didn’t intend on coming back considering everything that had just happened. I knew Kougami would never forget what I did and he would never forgive me either. I know even now, the thought still lurks in the back of his mind. I know the subject about how my father refused to confiscate my bank account is something that eats Kougami to the very core.

After everything was over, I just wanted to go somewhere nobody knew me. I could have made a fresh start anywhere I wanted but everywhere I went I just wasn’t contempt. There was always something missing. It took a while for me to realize what I was missing was home. I had long to come home, to be back to my roots but I was just too stubborn to admit it.

I know Kougami loves to say that I came back for him but the truth is I didn’t return for him. I came back for me. I came back because I needed my father as much as he needed me. I won’t deny that I wasn’t happy when I saw Kougami again and I do love him. I wish I could say that he’s my world but he’s not and I wish he was…

“I don’t want you to worry.” I tell him as I ignore the stinging in my chest.

“Because I love you, I will worry.” He tells me as he sits on the chair and cups my face and continues, “I watched the life being sucked out of your face once and there was nothing I could do to make it stop. I don’t want to see that happening again.”

“I’m not going to die.” I voice out as I try to hide the annoyance in my tone. I knew he would behave like that if I told him about how I felt. He’s behaving as if I’m on my deathbed or something. I’m probably getting another infection.

“What I’m trying to say but very poorly is that I’m here for you. I want you to lean onto me for once.” He tells me but I don’t want to lean onto anyone. I’m able to take care of myself. I’m not a baby that needs to be cared for.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not the right partner for Kougami. He deserves someone who would be able to give him what he wants. I know he would like me to do certain things with him in the morning but right now it takes so much effort just getting up in the morning. But, it’s not just that. He deserves someone who is more emotionally invested in the relationship than I am and the worst part, I don’t even know if I ever will be.

“What are you thinking about?” He suddenly asks after a bit of silence, dragging me out of my thoughts.

“Nothing.” I respond. Unable to tell him exactly what has been circling my mind for so long. I don’t want this to end but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be better for both of us. I’d give Kougami the moon if I could but I can’t give him emotionally what he needs.

And… He’s not… That’s in the past, something I shouldn’t venture back into. It didn’t work because I was too stubborn. I didn’t want to change my ways and be a man everyone knew I could be. I was the one who messed up on that one.

“I have to go to Tokyo on Monday.” Kougami tells me but this time there’s something else in his tone. For the first time since taking this new position, he doesn’t sound like he wants to go. For once, I think if I would tell him not to go, I think he would listen. But I can’t do that. I don’t want him to lose any chance of getting promoted in the long run.

“How long will you be gone this time?” I ask.

“I’ll be home by Friday. I’ll come sooner if I can. I promise.” He tells me before placing a kiss on my cheek.

He gets up and gets ready to go to bed and I shortly follow. I quickly climb into bed under the covers and Kougami lies next to me. It doesn’t take long until he’s fallen asleep but I can’t seem to fall into a slumber. I am exhausted, I’m tired beyond being tired and yet I can’t seem to fall asleep. At times, it feels like I might finally be falling and then suddenly my body jolts me awake.

I gaze to the night table, the alarm clock reads one in the morning. I close my eyes as I try to ignore the ever constant stinging in my chest. That alone I know can’t help with my sleeping problem. It’s a constant bother as it feels like this is what I get for what I’ve done. Sometimes I wonder if this is the price, for what I’ve done, for my sins. All the lives I’ve taken. All of that blood on my hands… So much lives lost because of the things I’ve done. They were terrible people I keep telling myself. As if that will help ease my conscious that I had at least done the right thing and it does until I’m reminded of the question of how many have died by mistake. How many were targeted just like Kougami was? How many who were innocent died by my hands because I did not know them? How many?

Kougami is alive today because he got too close. If I had never met him before I had received his name, I would have killed him. I know I would. I would have found him, I would have had him locked on and I would have shot him dead right then and there. No one would have known it was me, they would have thought it was the Yakuza and that would have been the end of it and I would have continued onto the next job. So how many?

I gaze again to the night table, the alarm clock now reads four in the morning and I know I will never fall asleep. My mind just won’t stop so why bother? I’ll just have to suck it up and make it through the day and hopefully I will be able to sleep later.

I carefully get up so I don’t wake Kougami up and I’m quickly greeted by the little pup. I pick it up in my arms and quietly go downstairs and waste little time to bring the pup outside and the moment I put him on the ground it doesn’t take long before it starts to pee. A smile forms on my lips as I watch the small bundle of fur and I’m pleased with what I see. I’ll have to inspect the house but I didn’t see any surprise on the floor which is surprising considering how old it is.

The decision was made to keep it but what could I name it? It only occurred to me that I don’t even know what to call this pup and to be honest I’ve never been very good at naming things. A name will pop up eventually, I’m sure this pup will learn it quite well even if it is not right now.

I pick up the pup back into my arms and go back inside and climb back up the stairs before putting it down and I quietly make my way back into the bedroom where Kougami is still soundly asleep. I carefully pick out some clothes and make my way to the bathroom all the while the pup keeps on following me around without making a sound as if it knows it must be quiet. He’s simply adorable and there is no one who will be able to make me change my mind about keeping him. He’s perfect and I love him.

Without further distractions, I quickly get undress and get the shower running. I don’t bother waiting for the water temperature to get right before jumping in. I find it’s simply a waste of water and besides it gets hot within a few minutes anyway so why wait. Once the water does get hot, the steam of the shower somehow helps me breathe a little better but the pain is still there and the intensity isn’t reducing which is a bummer but I guess I’ll have no choice. I’ll have to take some of the pain medication I’ve been prescribed.

I waste a bit of time breathing in the steam before I start to wash myself. Not that it takes a long time to do to begin with. After a few minutes, my hair and body is clean and that pretty much ends it but I waste a bit more time under the running water as I watch the water run down the drain before turning the water off and I get out of the shower as I grab a towel and start drying myself up before getting dress.

The pup is sleeping on my discarded clothes on the floor and if that’s not a sign of acceptance I don’t know what is. I drag my gaze away from the pup and start brushing my hair and then once that’s done I put away the brush and reach out for my tooth brush and begin to brush my teeth as I ignore the stinging in my chest again.

I take a bit more time brushing my teeth this morning, I can’t stand having bad breath and my teeth must be smooth. When they’re rough, I just can’t stand that sensation. Once I’m satisfied, I spit out the tooth paste and continue brushing my teeth until all the toothpaste foam is out of my mouth. I then take a damp washcloth and wash my mouth to make sure there’s no more paste even though there isn’t but it’s a habit when suddenly something catches my eyes. On the sink lies a single red droplet and then another falls right next to it. I look up to see myself in the mirror, I notice blood is coming out of my nose and my vision is becoming blurry and then everything goes black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Kougami**

I wake to the sound of nothing. The barely lite room only tells me that it’s much too early to get up on a Saturday but it is what it is. Not much point of trying to go back to sleep when I’m already awake as I slightly stir in the bed only to find that I’m alone.

Gino is already up?

I sit up to check the time and it’s only a bit past five in the morning. It’s rather odd for him to get up so early, especially on a Saturday. After all, he’s not much of a morning person. At least not since we started living together of which I can’t help but find it strange that he’s up already. I glance towards the bathroom, the door is partly shut but there’s light so at least I know where he is at this hour. The lack of sound hints me that he’s either already taken his shower or he’s about to. If he’s already taken his shower, I wonder when he actually got up? He kept on saying how tired he was last night but did he even sleep at all? It was almost midnight by the time we went to bed.

I get up, my feet hitting the cold floor as I do a slight stretch to help wake me up when I hear a little whine. I look down to see the pup sitting at my feet looking up at me. That’s right… We now have a dog…

“Gino, the pup is up.” I voice out as I carefully step over the pup but I don’t get a response from Gino and now I’m wondering if he’s in a bad mood or something. Is there something that he has on his chest and now he’s giving me the silent treatment?

When I don’t get a response from Gino, I simply shrug it off as I make my way out of the bedroom. After all, Gino giving me the silent treatment isn’t new. I know he doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s just when he enters in a state of thoughts, he tends to retreat away from reality. Also another possibility is that he’s soaking in the tub with music blaring through his ear buds.

The pup whining takes me out of my thoughts as I reach the staircase. I look down to meet that white fluffy face once again looking up at me and I wish it would just leave me be. It’s too early for me to deal with an animal. No offence, I like animals but I just don’t have the patience to take care of once.

“Now don’t be so noisy.” I tell it as it continues to look up at me with those blue puppy eyes. “You want to go outside?” I ask and he slightly tilts its head sideways.

I can see a bit why Gino wants to keep this pup. It is adorable and cute. The way it looks at you when you talk to it is a little funny but I’m not a dog person. Never have been and never will be. Gino will be on his own to care for it. I wouldn’t trust myself in raising a kid and a dog is basically the same kind of maintenance. I simply can’t do it and I wonder what would happen if Gino would one day want to adopt a child. Would he eventually want a child and what would he do if I told him that I don’t want a child? The very thought scares me.

“Last chance before I go downstairs.” I say to the pup and he tilts his little head to the other side. “Suit yourself.” I add before going down and the pup doesn’t follow but it does remain at the top of the stairs thought.

I make my way towards the kitchen and quickly start the coffee machine and then go straight to the bathroom as endless thoughts start to consume my mind. I don’t even know why I’m thinking about kids this morning. Perhaps it’s the pup. It’s getting to me. We all know that’s how it always starts. A couple gets a pet and then shortly a child follows but that’s not me. Gino might not feel the same when it comes to children. I know that he loves them. He adores children and children love him. I have to admit that Gino would make a great father but if he stays with me, he might never get to be a father.

I hear the pup barking upstairs as I finish up in the bathroom. Once I’m done, I head back to the stairs only to find the small animal still at the top lying on his stomach. Its little paws curled against the edge.

“You know you and me won’t be buddies if you continue behaving like that.” I tell it as I start climbing the stairs and he starts barking again. “Quit barking.” I quickly order as I reach the top of the stairs.

The small pup is all excited now as if I was gone an eternity. I surely wish I could have its energy this morning. Actually it’d be great if this pup could give about half of its energy to Gino. He could certainly use it and perhaps we might be able to get some good times under the sheet.

I make my way back to the bedroom and the pup follows closely behind. I try to ignore the little fur ball as I get changed into some casual clothing. A plain old t-shirt and jeans will suffice today. It’s not like we’ll be having anything fancy today. It’s just a simple gathering. A bonfire outside, nothing special.

A sudden tug at my feet quickly drags me out of my thoughts. I quickly look down only to find the pup nipping at the bottom of my pants. I quickly shoo it away as it continues to look up at me. For fucks sakes, what does it want from me!?

“You know you’re lucky that you’re cute.” I tell it but that’s not exactly what I’m thinking. He’s lucky that Gino loves him because he’d be out of here in a heartbeat and I think he might have felt my true feelings towards it since it bolted into the bathroom and that is a little funny. “Gino, he already knows who to run to for safety.” I voice out as I finish getting dressed.

Another long silence is all that greets me and I don’t like it. First Gino is up since who knows when and now he’s giving me the silent treatment. Although being quiet for him is nothing unusual, he will talk to me a little. He’s not the type to ignore someone and if he does, it’s not done on purpose. I’m hoping that he has not fallen asleep in the bathtub. Truth is, it wouldn’t be the first time that he’d fall asleep in the bathtub which is quite worrying.

I quickly make my way towards the bathroom. If there is one thing that can spiral Gino’s mood to an inferno is for someone to enter in the bathroom when he’s bathing. I did it once at the beginning when he was in the shower. I figured it be great to shower together. To me it just made sense but not to Gino. He claimed that it was insensitive and an invasion of one’s personal privacy.

“Gino is-” I say as I open the door only for my stomach to curl and drop down to my gut as I bolt down to the floor to Gino lying on the floor with the pup by his side.

I quickly turn Gino onto his back only to find that his face is bloody and much to my dismay he’s not responsive. I check his pulse with all haste and much to my relief there’s a nice pulse and then I quickly check his breathing and all is well. His breathing sounds normal if I ignore the rattle in his lung where he had been injured.

What happened?

I gaze at the small animal watching anxiously and I just can’t believe it. This animal who hasn’t been here for twenty four hours knew something was wrong and it tried to get my attention. It knew that Gino needed assistance and he was willing to do anything to gain my attention. Even to the point of nipping at my heel. If it hadn’t been for this animal, I might not have found Gino unconscious until much later this morning. Well until I would have gone to check up on him after a while.

“Good boy. You did good.” I praise the small animal before lifting Gino up in my arms to lay him onto our bed all the while the small pup follows closely and I could swear that it’s proud of itself.

I carefully lay Gino onto the bed and then I carefully start inspecting his head for any signs of injury. The blood has to come from somewhere but so far I can’t seem to locate a gash or anything. And what pains me, the blood on his face has started to become crusty as it starts to change colour. Gino has definitely been lying on the cold hard floor for at least an hour and if not more and I failed to notice. I wonder exactly how long the pup tried to get my attention when I was asleep. But none of that matters right now. I know now.

Gino’s skin is hot to the touch and I’m starting to wonder if the sudden rise in temperature in his body might have caused him to faint. By the scent of his hair, I know he took a shower and perhaps the hot shower might have affected his blood pressure. There are so many possibilities and I’m just hoping that it’s nothing bad.

I quickly leave Gino’s side for a few seconds as I go to the bathroom. I quickly throw two washcloths and a towel into the sink as I run the cold water. Once they’re completely soaked, I get out as much water as I can from the fabric before going back to Gino’s side. Although his temperature seems rather high, his breathing is at least normal. With that said and done, I have to focus onto getting his temperature to drop before his condition worsens.

Gino last night told me that he was having issues with his lung. That it has not healed completely yet but that it wasn’t painful. Just a constant bother but I should have known that he was lying. That’s how he always is. He’s never honest with me about how he feels until he’s left with no choice. He always keeps me guessing about everything just like right now.

I force myself out of my thoughts as I carefully remove his shirt so I can lay the wet towel on his bare chest and then I apply the wet washcloth onto his forehead and I wait. That’s all I can do right now and it bothers me. I hate this feeling of helplessness. I want to help Gino but there’s nothing I can do other than cleaning up his face from the blood that has long since stained his pretty face.

I’m not a doctor and even if I was, I feel like Gino wouldn’t listen to me and just the very thought frustrates me as I pace around in the room in order to try to control my ever growing anxiety and frustration. Why did this have to happen? Why? I have to leave for Tokyo Sunday night and the very thought kills me. I don’t want to leave Gino alone knowing that something is wrong but it’s my job. I feel so conflicted.

A soft bark jolts me out of my thoughts only to see the pup up on his back legs, his front paws pressed against the bed. I approach the small animal and carefully lift it up onto the bed and it quickly curls up against Gino, its head resting onto Gino’s shoulder.

I resume pacing around the room to try and calm my ever growing anxiety as I keep glancing towards the clock. The minutes are passing like flying colours and yet it feels like an eternity for a single minute to pass. AT this rate, I’m going to lose my mind. Should I call an ambulance? Do I wait a bit more? What should I do?

A slight stir suddenly catches my attention. I quickly return my gaze onto Gino and finally I see his eyes open. Although I’m glad to see him finally awake, he can’t hide the fact that he’s sick. Something is wrong.

“Hey.” I voice out as I approach him and ask, “How are you feeling?”

“Cold.” He answers.

“You have a fever.” I quickly inform him and follow with another question, “Are you in pain?”

“No… Just exhausted.” He answers back as he sits up and I wish he would just lie down for a bit.

“Gino don’t push yourself.” I quickly tell him but he just won’t listen to me and that alone is frustrating. He’s long since discarded the washcloth that was on his forehead and the towel I had carefully placed on his chest. Why can’t he see that they were helping to control his fever!?

“It’s fine-”

“No it’s not fine!” I quickly cut him off. Perhaps a bit sharper that I had initially planned but he needs to listen to me. He’s not fine. “I found you lying on the bathroom floor, your face covered in blood.” I tell him but even though this information should at least worry him a little, it doesn’t. His expression is neutral, completely void of all emotion just like he was when we had first met and that alone worries me. I fear so much that he’s slowly slipping back into his old life. I can’t have that!

“I can’t explain what-”

“You’re not fine. You need help.” I cut him off again. I don’t want any excuse or any meaningless stories right now. All I want is for Gino to get better and to see a doctor. “I want to take you to the E.R-”

“Kougami… I saw my doctor two days ago. He gave me a prescription for my lung.” He cuts me off with a gentle tone before rising to his feet and I can tell that he’s weak. He seems rather wobbly and I can feel his body shake a little. “What else do you want me to do?” He asks but I don’t have an answer.

If Gino went to see his doctor two days ago, why doesn’t he just do his job? Why can’t he treat Gino correctly instead of making him waste his time? Is he going to treat Gino correctly only once he’s fallen into a critical state?

“Go again. Something is wrong.” I voice out as I watch Gino put on a thin cotton shirt much to my dismay. I wish he wouldn’t put on any unnecessary layers but that’s not Gino’s way. I know that but at least he’s reasonable with the clothing he chose. “Gino, I don’t want to lose you. Please take this as a warning.” I further tell him as I put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll go see my doctor on Monday.” He tells me and adds, “I promise.”

“Do you want me to go with you?” I ask.

“I’ll be fine and I promise I’ll go Monday morning.” He reassures me.

Gino puts down the pup on the floor before leaving the room and I closely follow with much uneasiness as I watch Gino walk down the stairs. Afraid that he might lose his balance and fall but he manages to reach the bottom without any issues. At least there’s some comfort in that and I’m much please to see him take a seat in the cuddler chair in the corner of the living room. Seeing him take it easy is exactly what I like. This weekend, I’m going to take care of Gino. I’m not like what the guys said about me. I can help out and I can take care of my love.

“I hate leaving when I know you’re not well.” I tell Gino as I head to the kitchen.

I quickly take out a frying pan and then I go to the fridge and grab the pack of bacon. I quickly proceed on laying a line of bacon and set the cooking range on.

“It’s probably an infection.” I hear Gino say and add, “It’ll be fine. I’ve had far worst that this.”

“Have you?” I ask as I walk back to the living room.

Gino is all curled up in the comfy cuddler chair and to be honest there’s just something I like in seeing him sitting it them. Especially when on colder days when he decides to wear a large wool sweater, with a cup of coffee in his hands or with a book. There’s just something in those moments that he’s just so beautiful. It’s simple and nothing extravagant but it’s perfect none the less.

“Yeah.” He answers softly and I have to wonder what kind of mess has Gino been involved in that he would have been in bad shape. Other than the injury he received two years ago, he doesn’t have any scars. By the way that it’s healing, I’d say that there won’t even be a scar in the near future so perhaps he has already received a severe injury. I wonder if he’ll ever tell me one day.

I hear a little whine up the stairs and there he is, the little saviour lying on the floor, looking down the stairs. Without a word, I quickly climb up the stairs to get the little bundle of fur and go back down the stairs.

“He’s growing on you.” Gino says as I join him with the pup in my arms with its tail wagging with joy.

“Absolutely. He’s my boy now. You can’t have him.” I say as I stroke its head behind the ears before handing him over to Gino.

“I’m glad you two are getting along.” He says with a soft smile as my mind wanders off to things that I shouldn’t be thinking about. My mind just can’t help but wonder, what if… What if this would be good for us? Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad…

“Have you thought about the prospect of having kids one day?” I dare ask.

“Where is that coming from all of a sudden?” He inquires and he should. It was pretty much out of the blues but if he was having doubts about the seriousness I’m willing to go, children should mean the ultimate commitment in a relationship. If he wants them, I’ll do it for him.

“Just wondering where we’re going. If we’re on the same page or not. We’ve never talked about this kind of thing before.” I say.

“Do you?” He further asks and whatever I say may determine the outcome of what he decides. Whatever I choose to say is what he’ll say, I know it.

“Maybe.” I answer. “We can always adopt.” I suggest.

“Adoption is good but I don’t think I could raise a child that’s not mine. It might sound selfish but-”

“That’s perfectly fine. It’s not selfish at all.” I quickly cut him off and I somehow feel lighter all of a sudden. I’m at ease that’s now off my chest and I’m feeling much better knowing that Gino won’t throw having kids in my face in the near future. Since neither of us can birth a child and Gino doesn’t want to adopt, we can say that children are officially off the table just the way I like it. “Today, you’re doing nothing. I’m all yours so you just sit back and relax and watch me handle this.” I add with confidence.

“Are you sure about that?” Gino inquires as if unsure I can handle it with a serious expression on his face.

“Don’t worry about a thing Gino. I’ve got this!” I tell him and he nods slowly with a coyly smile to his lips, his emerald eyes locked onto me.

“I smell something burning.” He calmly states with hint of amusement in his tone and somehow just now I can smell the scent of burning from the kitchen.

“Oh shit.” I say as I bolt back into the kitchen to my ever burning bacon.

**XXX**

* * *

 

**Chapter 3.5**

**Mika**

“Are you sure you won’t mind?” I ask, like I haven’t already asked him the same question like a bazillion time already.

“Why would I mind? I was the one who offered in the first place.” He responds back and although it is true that he was the one who offered in the first place, I still can’t help but feel guilty. I’m basically invading his space but that’s what it means having roommates. You have to compromise space but considering how he used to have Kougami as a roommate, you’d think he would hold on more to his solitude.

“I know. But-”

“And besides, living in that house all by myself does get a bit boring.” He cuts me off with that same old gentle tone of his. To be honest, Ginoza should have hooked up with Sugo instead of Kougami. This guy right here is simply the perfect partner if one is interested in guys that is.

Sugo is so Ginoza’s type in every possible ways. First of all, the man is clean. He is spotless and he’s proper and kind. He’s especially thoughtful of others and he’s not afraid to put in some work and yet Ginoza chose Kougami. Why couldn’t it have been Sugo who would have been the target two years ago? Why couldn’t it have been Sugo who had approached Ginoza back then as well? Chances are if it had been the other way around, Ginoza would have hooked up with Sugo instead of Kougami. That guy can surely be thankful that he was the one that interacted with Ginoza cause he wouldn’t be with him right now.

I still say that we should have gone to Paris after everything was all settled. We never should have returned to Japan but I understand that Ginoza wanted to be closer to his father. He's been away for a long time but I'll still continue to say that we should have gone to Paris.

“I promise you, I’m not like Kougami.” I tell Sugo and stating such, should almost be worth an award. Kougami is just plain terrible when it comes to helping out around a home. I’d really hate to see him having kids and I pray to go that he doesn't try to coax Ginoza into adopting kids. Ginoza will be great with kids, I've got no doubt about it but Kougami would be simply the worse. It would also be a way for Kougami to tie Ginoza to him as well so I'll do everything I can to dissuade Ginoza if it ever becomes a topic.

“Oh I believe you.” Sugo replies back with a carefree tone as he spoke.

“When I met him for the first time, I honestly thought he’d be cleaner with the way that he dressed.” I admit and to be honest the way that Kougami dress ever so properly is very deceiving to say the least.

Every day, Kougami goes to work dressed in a nice form fitting three piece suit and when he’s off duty his casual clothes remains form fitting but mostly consist of a t-shirt and jeans. But anyway, he always puts in so much effort into his physical appearance that when you see how he lives it just shocks you. By the way he dresses so well, you’d think his living environment would be spotless.

“Kougami is the real life version of that meme of the cleanliness of the car and bedroom.” Sugo voices out and I do recall seeing that popping up a few times on social media. Except that one had a girl’s version but just the opposite. The woman’s bedroom is spotless while her car is a mess.

“Quite literally.” I voice out in return in agreement. Except that only works with Kougami though. From the little I’ve known of these guys since moving back to Japan; even Sasayama can keep an apartment cleaner than Kougami.

With that said and done, we abandon our conversation about Kougami as we approach the house. The last thing we need is Kougami jumping onto his high horse again. The last gathering we did was a disaster and it was all because of something so pity too. It ended up ruining the whole gathering and no one was in any mood to even stay after that.

We climb up the steps of the porch. Sugo knocks before opening the door and we enter only to find that no one is even here yet. Since it’s only noon it explains why no one is here yet. However, considering how the previous gatherings we used to have, there were already some that had already arrived by then. I guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to see Kougami jump onto his high horse again.

“And no one’s here.” Sugo voices out as he closes the door and adds, “I knew it.”

“Good cause I’m not ready!” Kougami says from the kitchen and I have to ignore the faint scent of burnt food and I’m pretty sure Sugo must be doing the same. “Get your ass in here!” Kougami further says and without a word Sugo makes his way towards the kitchen and I head towards the living room where I find Ginoza curled up into a chair.

“What’s got into Kougami?” I ask as I take a seat on the couch.

“He decided to be handy today.” He answers with a fatigue expression on his face.

“You don’t feel well.” I point out and it’s rather hard to ignore his face. The under of his eyes are red and perhaps a bit swollen also. His skin is shockingly pale, more than usual. The very sight of Ginoza is rather frightening.

“Is it that obvious?” He asks with a bit of sarcasm in his tone. At least he’s not trying to shrug it off as if it’s nothing.

“Yes. Look for yourself.” I say as I turn my phone’s camera on and switch to selfie mode before turning it over to Ginoza just so he can see his face.

“I’m starting to feel like old people as they go see their doctor on a weekly basis.” He says as he touches the skin under his eyes and I’m pretty sure the redness was probably not there when he saw himself in the mirror. His health is declining to the point that I can see it on a daily basis.

“He’s useless.” I admit the very thought I was holding for a while.

“Got any better ideas?” Ginoza asks and I can sense the exhaustion in his voice. I know it’s not like he hasn’t taken the necessary steps into getting himself better. He’s taken the time to go see his doctor and has gone to get the necessary tests done as well but everything keeps up coming up as fine.

“Yeah I’ve got one.” I say. “Leave it to me.” I add before rising up to my feet and I walk out of the living room and I stop near the kitchen as I hear Kougami speaking low as if he doesn’t want anyone to hear. Probably he doesn’t want Ginoza to hear him.

“I need you to make sure Gino goes to see his doctor on Monday.” I hear him say.

“Why me?” I hear Sugo ask. “You should be the one to do that.” I hear him add and he’s got a valid point. Kougami should be the one to care for Ginoza. After all, he’s the one who’s living with him in the first place. And thus, another reason why Sugo would make a better romantic partner than Kougami.

“I will be in Tokyo.” Kougami says and of course that’s the excuse he’ll use. I swear to god, that man loves his job more than a significant other. That man right there, when it comes to his job is like equaling it to having an affair. He’s having an affair on Ginoza with his job. The man will find any excuse to be there instead of being home.

“You really should start setting your priorities in order.” Sugo shoots back and I have to control the urge of shouting hell yeah. Kougami really should set his priorities much better than what he does right now.

“I’m not asking something grand. Just help me out will you!?” Kougami further exclaims a bit louder but not loud enough for Ginoza to hear him in the living room.

“I’ll do it but it’s not for you.” Sugo says and I wish he hadn’t said so but then again, perhaps it’s time I try to persuade Ginoza to kick Kougami to the curb. If he really wants to be with someone and to settle down, Sugo could be the one for him. “You shouldn’t be going to Tokyo on Monday and you fucking know it.” I hear Sugo further add and it’s true.

I force myself to ignore the ever growing argument in the kitchen as I switch my attention to my phone and quickly dial a number. The phone rings and rings and when I’m convinced that no one will answer I hear the phone pick up and I couldn’t be happier.

“Hello.” He says. His voice the same as I remembered and I wonder why I waited so long to call him. He’s always been our go to man for medical help and yet it never crossed my mind and it obviously has not crossed Ginoza’s mind either.

“Hey, it’s me.” I say as I walk out the door, closing the door behind me.

“It’s been a while.” He says. “I was wondering when you’d call.” He adds.

“I need your assistance.” I tell him as I step down the steps and walk a bit further from the house.

“I’m listening.” He voices out and now it feels like good old times. The memories of our old jobs quickly comes back to me and some of them were pretty serious while others were just plain hilarious. With Ginoza being a hitman, sometimes going to a hospital for medical care just wasn’t an option so we had to improvise. Those were indeed the good old days back in France.

“How fast can you get to Ohana, Japan?” I ask.

“I’ll be there in sixteen hours.” He informs me. “What’s the situation?” He asks just like old times.

A year ago when we were deciding what we were going to do and where we were going to go. I had taken the responsibility of terminating all of our contacts. That everything was final and retirement had finally come. Some had not been pleased since that would affect their monthly profit but our medic was rather proud. He never agreed with Ginoza’s lifestyle to begin with.

I feel my eyes starting to burn as I feel a flash of emotion start to take over my being. I take a few deep breathes to try and calm myself before speaking.

“I think Ginoza is dying.” I say but I’m unable to stop my voice from cracking.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Sugo**

He’s absolutely unbelievable. At this point I just can’t help but feel sorry for Ginoza. Kougami knows that Ginoza’s health is deteriorating and yet he still chose to leave for Tokyo on Sunday. He claimed that he had no choice because it’s his job but hell with that excuse. Management won’t force you to come to work if you advise them that a family member or significant other is ill.

Yesterday, I drop by with Shimotsuki and I still couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him. He’s shockingly pale and he just looks like he hasn’t slept at all. I stayed a bit while Kougami was taking his shower and Ginoza didn’t try to avoid the topic. He did admit that he doesn’t feel well but his doctor just dismisses his conditions as just a pulmonary infection and that he will feel better once he’s done his prescription.

I’m growing rather frustrated over the fact that Kougami even though he knows what’s going on, he still chose to leave. He often says how much he’s content with his relationship and that the only thing that causes friction is his sex life but he doesn’t act like he’s content. If he was truly content with his relationship, he would still be here right now. At this point, I just want to try to push Ginoza to just end this whole thing for his own sake. The only reason I haven’t said anything is because I don’t want to be that person that ends a relationship.

Shimotsuki left this morning to go to the airport. She wouldn’t say why but knowing her it’s probably concerning something about her job. So far, even though she only moved in Saturday, she’s by far a way better roommate than Kougami ever was. Honestly, I think we’ll get along just fine. We’re similar in many ways and we like to live in a tidy and clean environment. We’re not super clean to the point of making ourselves miserable but we’re on the same page.

Kougami wanted me to make sure that Ginoza went to see his doctor today and I hate following tabs on someone. Ginoza is a responsible adult, he doesn’t need anyone to baby him all the time but I know it’s much more than that. I know deep down, it’s just Kougami’s way of having me spy on Ginoza on his behalf. It’s almost as if he doesn’t believe that Ginoza is actually really sick. It’s like he thinks that Ginoza is faking it in order to do some dirty jobs.

I told Kougami that I would keep an eye on Ginoza but I’m not doing it for him. Hell, I’m not doing it for him. I’m walking over to Ginoza’s place for his own sake and not for Kougami’s ungrateful ass. I’m going over there in case he needs something. He didn’t look good yesterday and I’m sure as hell that he’s not any better today so if there’s anything I can do to help, I will.

I force the thoughts out of my head for the time being as I quickly climb up the steps of Ginoza’s porch. I knock and then proceed to enter only to find Ginoza sitting in his chair and I was right. He doesn’t look any better and as a matter of fact if I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s even worse than yesterday.

“You looked better the day after you got shot.” I remark and maybe I shouldn’t have said that. It’s probably not something that he wants to remember, especially right now of all times. But, it’s still true and that scares me and I’m even angrier towards Kougami for having left last night. Is he blind or something?

“Can I ask a favour?” Ginoza ask in a rather weak and tired tone.

“Yes, of course.” I quickly reply. I’d be willing to do anything that he asks. Especially when he’s not the type to even ask for favours to begin with. “To be honest, you’re really starting to concern me.” I admit.

“I need a ride.” He says and right then and there I know that it’s far worse than what I had hoped for. Ginoza is not the type to rely on anyone. He likes to do everything himself unless it requires other people’s assistance and for him to ask for a ride, he can’t be good.

“To see your doctor?” I ask. “Of course.” I add.

“Take me to the E.R.” He says and that’s even more alarming since I know that he’s not the kind of person to just wander to the E.R for little things. “I was contemplating on calling the ambulanc-”

Before Ginoza can finish saying what he had to say, he starts coughing for a few long seconds before the coughing fit finally stopped. It’s only when he removed his hand from his mouth that I noticed red in his palm as he drops the phone he had been holding onto the chair he had been sitting on only moments ago.

“Can you walk?” I ask as I get closer to him but he doesn’t answer, he only nods and I carefully guide him out of the house as I feel my heart racing within my chest.

Ginoza isn’t fast on his feet but I don’t dare to rush him either as we make our way up the walking path. The last thing I want to do is cause excess strain to his lungs. The fact that he’s now coughing up blood is a very bad sign and by the look in his eyes, I know that it hasn’t happen before.

I remain close to Ginoza as we finish climbing the steps and I guide his as quickly as he can manage to my car and not once did he try to protest against me. The more I’m helping him, the more my anger towards Kougami grows. I don’t live with Ginoza but even I can tell that he allows help when he knows that he needs it. He doesn’t try to pretend that everything is great for the sake of others. He says it as it is so I know for a fact that Kougami must have disregarded every possible signs that Ginoza wasn’t well. I just hope that it’s not too late.

With every step we take, I can hear the rattling in Ginoza’s chest. He’s also making more effort to breathe in more air but it sounds like he can only manage to take in only half. It’s almost as if his lungs are starting to shut down and I just pray that he can hold on until we get to the hospital.

I unlock my car and open the passenger door and he enters. Once he’s in, I shut the door and speed up to the other side and I quickly get in. I waste no time igniting the engine and I quickly drive off and just my luck, the traffic isn’t heavy but it’s not light either. For once, I would have appreciated if there wasn’t so much traffic.

“Are you okay?” I ask as I quickly glance to my right a few times but he just seems so lifeless. He’s just sitting there in silence and if it had not been for his ragged breathing, I wouldn’t be able to tell that he’s even there.

“I’m fine…” He mutters weakly as he shift his gaze towards me. “You know what I mean-”

“I know.” I say as he goes into another coughing fit but at least this time he didn’t cough out any blood but his condition is still pretty bad. “We’re almost there.” I add when he finally finishes coughing and I see the hospital sign and next the hospital as I feel a sense of relief as I pull into the hospital parking lot.

I quickly find a parking spot as closely to the hospital entrance as possible. The last thing I want is to make Ginoza walk more than he has to. The moment I find a parking space, I kill the engine and I get out of the car and Ginoza does the same but he looks so frail right now. I think I light wind might actually make him fall over.

We make our way towards the hospital as fast as Ginoza can go. He doesn’t say a word as we enter the hospital and I guide him towards the closest chair for him to rest a bit while I get him admitted. Once I’m sure he’ll be fine for a bit, I quickly head towards the registration clerk.

“How can I help you sir?” She asks.

“I have an emergency. My friend is gravely ill.” I answer.

“Everyone waiting are ill, sir.” She replies back just as fast with an uninterested expression on her face as I look over my shoulder to look at the people waiting to see a doctor.

I can’t deny that she’s right. There are quite a few people here that are waiting to see a doctor and who knows how long they’ve been waiting but Ginoza is in a more critical state than all of these people combine. I turn back to face the clerk, I won’t take no for an answer. If I have to use my badge to get Ginoza in, I will but I’d like to avoid that. He doesn’t need any unwanted attention to himself.

“You’re absolutely right but please hear me out before dismissing me. My friend punctured his lung two years ago after he was shot and it’s been an infection right after the other and this time it’s pretty bad.” I inform the clerk and I’m pleased to see that at least she’s listening to what I’m saying as I continue, “He looks like death and he’s started coughing up blood. I wouldn’t state something to be an emergency if it wasn’t so please help me out.”

She stands up from her chair when I motion towards where Ginoza is sitting. From here, I can’t tell if he’s about to pass out but he seems to be getting worst by the minute. The clerk observes for a few seconds before taking back her seat.

“Alright. Take your friend to room one-o-two and a doctor will see him shortly.” She tells me and I couldn’t be more grateful.

“Thank you.” I quickly say and she gives me a light smile and I bolt back to Ginoza and he seems so out of it.

I touch his shoulder and I don’t know if it’s because I’m just in an adrenaline rush but his shoulder feels rather hot. I’m not even touching his skin and I can just feel the heat come through the thin fabric of his shirt.

“I got you in. Let’s go.” I say as I help Ginoza up to his feet and I’m convinced that he’s got a high fever. His body is way too hot to state otherwise and I know for a fact that it can’t be a good sign. He clearly has some form of infection and at this rate, his body is coming out as the loser.

I still can’t believe just how cooperative he is with me this whole time. Not once has he tried to complain. Not once did I have to argue with him towards something and even as I help him to guide him out of the waiting room and into the E.R section, he doesn’t complain. I know that Ginoza is a proud individual and for him to allow someone else to help him this much, he can’t be feeling well.

“Th-” Ginoza starts speaking but just as he had begun, he gets into another coughing fit but it’s not like back in the car. It sounds like as he’s coughing, he can’t catch his breath which makes him cough even more.

“Ginoza?” I call out to him but I don’t know what to do. He’s just coughing and coughing to the point his face has become reddish and the sudden commotion has caught the attention of a few nurses who had been busy doing other things.

“Sir, are you alright?” A nurse asks as she rushes to us only for her eyes to widen and she bolts the other way in a sprint.

I turn my gaze back to Ginoza who is still coughing only to see his hand stained in blood as he crumbles down to one knee. I quickly grab his arms to try and keep him up on his feet but it feels as if his weight has doubled.

“I need help!” I shout as I see Ginoza’s eyes roll into the back of his head and at this point I’m not even sure he even knows what’s going on anymore.

**XXX**

* * *

 

**Chapter 4.5**

**Kougami**

The sound of my cellphone ringing jolts me awake and all I want to do is to throw it against the wall as I open my eyes only to see how early it is on my alarm clock. It’s one thing to call someone, but it’s another thing to call them so early in the morning. It just shows just how much those kinds of people have no life of their own altogether.

I reached out to the night table to grab my phone and look as to see who’s calling at least. I know Gino wasn’t feeling well when I left so it might be him but it ends up that it’s not him. It’s just Sasayama. What the hell does he want at this hour?

“Hello…” I answer, not really caring much. Especially since he knows that I’m still sleeping at this hour when I work in Tokyo. Tokyo isn’t as early risers as the rest of the country. Of all people, he should fucking know that.

“Get your ass to Naha!” He shouts back immediately after I answered. Exactly what is his problem this morning?

“Do you have to shout?” I ask as I sit up in the bed. “Are you trying to kill my ear?” I add as I rub my face to try and wake myself up.

“I don’t even know why I bothered to call you.” He shoots back. “Get your ass down here!” He adds without much information. Like does he think I’ll just pack my bags and head back to Naha on just a whim without any information?

“How about giving me some intel first.” I say.

Things in Naha can’t have escalate so bad within twenty-four hours. I highly doubt it that a Yakuza clan has just moved in and are currently causing chaos in the district. If something would have arisen, Pops would have called me himself so whatever Sasayama is going on a frenzy about can wait-

“Gino has been hospitalized.” Sasayama tells me in a rather sharp tone and I just feel my gut just churned sideways. Hospitalized? What the hell? He never called me!

“What?” The word slips out as I quickly jump out of bed, ignoring the slight disturbance beside me. “I told him to call me if there was anything-”

“He walked himself to the E.R and was contemplating on calling the ambulance because he didn’t feel like he could drive himself there.” Sasayama cuts me off but then again it makes no sense. I told Gino to call me if there was anything but of course he didn’t. He never comes to me when it matters most. “Sugo was the one who drove him and by the time he arrived at the hospital his lungs collapsed.” Sasayama says so at least Sugo did what I told him to do but nothing makes any sense. A person’s lungs don’t just collapse like that.

“What are you saying?” I ask as I try to get dress with just one hand.

“He can’t breathe!” Sasayama barks back. “He needs oxygen support. Without it, he’ll die.” He adds and the very mention that the possibility of Gino dying just terrifies me.

How did it come to this? I know he told me that he wasn’t feeling well but that was it. Yes, on Sunday he was tired but he was okay. How did his condition degrade so much within a few hours? I just don’t get it. I just don’t get it at all.

“What’s the cause?” I ask before pulling a shirt over my head.

“I don’t know.” Sasayama answers. How the hell does he not know? How the hell is he aware of Gino’s condition before me? I’m assuming that Sugo must have been the one to call him but that’s just so fucking fucked up. Sugo should have called me immediately and not Sasayama. Like what the hell? “They’re still running tests but they can’t find what’s causing it.” Sasayama further informs me and that’s just unbelievable. How is it in today’s day and age that they don’t know what is wrong with Gino? How can doctors not be able to properly diagnose someone? Just how!?

“I’m on my way. I’ll take the next plane to Naha.” I tell Sasayama and that shouldn’t be too hard to get but no matter what plane I can get on, I’m still three hours away.

I end the call and quickly finish getting dressed. This sure wasn’t a kind of Monday that I had in mind but I guess it can’t be helped. Sugo’s words keep on repeating in my head and it’s just infuriating. He kept on saying how I shouldn’t have gone to Tokyo. That I should have stayed home and he’s right. Knowing what I know right now, I should have stayed. It’s just; I was hanging onto the optimistic side that things would get better.

“Sounds serious.” A voice snaps me out of my thoughts but it’s not much of a surprise that I woke him up with the ruckus I’ve been making.

“I don’t have time.” I choose to say as I finish getting ready and grab a few things that I will need for the flight.

“Yes, I can see that.” He voices out as I quickly gaze at his half naked body, only the sheets barely covering him. “Sounds very urgent.” He adds with that same alluring tone.

“A family member was rushed to the hospital.” I choose to say as I look away.

I can’t say that I’ve always been honest. Not to neither of them. He doesn’t know about me and Gino and Gino doesn’t know about Makishima either. But, I can’t let go of neither of them. They’re different and yet one has what the other lacks. A part of me keeps on saying that this isn’t right but another part of me can’t deny neither of them. If nobody knows other than me, it can’t hurt anyone…

“And now you fear of not getting there in time.” Makishima states the exact fear in the back of my mind. How he always manages to guess the exact thoughts in my mind will always be a mystery. “When a man faces fear, his soul is tested. What he was born to seek... what he was born to achieve... his true nature will become clear.” He adds.

“Good to see you’re as pretentious as always.” I voice out before leaving the room.

XXX

XXX

Out of all this madness, I didn’t have a hard time to catch a plan heading for Naha but the flight was unbearable. Once I was up in the air, I tried calling Sasayama but he wouldn’t answer any of my calls. Actually, by the amount of rings I was able to get before the call disconnected, I know he ignored my calls instead of answering. Sugo was the only one who answered me and although the flight was unbearable he was able to make it better in a way.

Sugo was able to provide me with some updates on Gino’s condition but it wasn’t getting any better throughout my flight. Sugo advised that Gino had developed a high fever to the point of becoming delirious and he lost consciousness when he was admitted to the E.R.

I wanted to ask Sugo as to why he didn’t call me immediately. Instead, I had to learn the news from Sasayama but since he was the only one providing me with updates on Gino’s condition, I felt it would be a bad idea to tick him off. I guess, it doesn’t matter who got called first I guess. The important part is that I got notified but I should have been there. To think that Gino’s condition had worsened so much to the point that he was coughing up blood.

Sugo told me before Gino lost consciousness that he had gotten another coughing fit but that time it had been far worse than what Gino had coughed up at the house. Blood was just coming out from his mouth to the point that it looked like Gino had received a beating and I wasn’t there for him. That’s the part that hurts the most. I… I wasn’t there.

By the time that the plane had landed in Naha, it was already in the mid-afternoons and the traffic wasn’t the best. For once, I wished that the people could have stayed home. It took me over thirty minutes just to get to the hospital from the airport but finally I’m here and Gino won’t have to go through this alone.

I quickly park the car, cut the engine and bolt out of the car towards the hospital. I waste little time to make my way into the building and I navigate through the people who are in the entrance lobby and head straight for the registration desk.

“How can I help you sir?” The clerk asks.

“Which room is Nobuchika Ginoza in?” I ask back.

“Let me see…” She says as she starts typing the name into the system and I wish she would just tell me where he is already. “He’s in ICU-”

“Yes I know he’s in ICU!” I quickly cut her off. I seriously don’t have the time for this bullshit. If I’m requesting to see someone, it means I already know in what kind of state they are in. “Which room is he?” I ask again as I try to hide my annoyance.

“Sir, I would require you to calm yourself otherwise I will be oblige to call in security.” She quickly advises back and I just want to shove my damn badge in her face.

I take a deep breath in order to try and calm myself down. I know that it’s not her fault, she’s just trying to do her job but she could at least be a bit more sympathetic. She knows that Gino is in ICU, she knows he’s in a critical state so people who are trying to see him should be treated better.

“I’m sorry, it’s just I’m a little on edge. I just got off a three hour flight just to get here.” I choose to say as she looks up at me and I don’t know why but I can’t keep eye contact with this woman. It feels as if she knows.

“He’s on the fourth floor, room four-sixteen.” She tells me after a short silence.

“Thank you.” I acknowledge before bolting into a run through the hall and head straight to the elevator.

I press the number for the fourth floor and wait for the door to close and just as it was about to close a man put his arm to stop the door from closing and the door opens again. He enters the elevator and he presses for the third floor. The man gives me a smile and a nod and the only thought going through my mind is to punch his fucking brains out. His little smile is just infuriating.

The slight ding snaps me out of my thoughts as the door finally closed and the elevator starts to move and stops at the third floor. The man quickly steps out and after a few seconds, the door closes again followed by another ding and the elevator moves up and then another ding follows and the door opens and I dash out into a sprint and stop when I see Sasayama leaning against a wall in the hall.

“Hey! How is he?” I ask, catching his attention in the process.

“Get out of my face!” He barks back before walking away.

I watch him walk away briefly. Whatever is eating him will die down soon enough but there are more important things I need to worry about right now as I toss the thought aside and I keep on moving. I look at the numbers on the rooms as I pass each doors and fast enough, I spot Gino’s room and I enter only to find Gino hooked with that damn respirator machine that I came to loath so much two years ago. Right next to him, is Sugo sitting in a chair but I didn’t see Pops in the hall. Does he even know?

“How is he?” I ask.

“Stable for now…” Sugo responds as he stands up. Stable is not exactly what I want to hear but at least he’s not getting worst. He’s still got a chance to get out of this mess. “I told you Saturday. You never should have left for Tokyo.” He tells me again and he’s right but I also have a duty. It’s my job; I can’t just abandon it either.

“It’s my job-”

“You know what? I don’t even want to hear it.” Sugo cuts me off. “Just know. You had a choice and you made it. I just hope you can live with the consequences of your decision.” He adds and exactly what does that even mean? Yes I made a choice but I’m here now. The fact that I came home in all haste should mean something. I came back when it mattered most.

“Ris-”

“Hey, welcome back.” Sugo says as he rushes to Gino’s bed side the moment Gino made a sound and I’m glad to see that he’s regained consciousness. However, Sugo’s behavior is infuriating. It’s almost as if he’s trying to sabotage my relationship by trying to be the first person that Gino sees.

“Gino.” I call out as I go to the other side of the bed. He weakly turned his gaze towards me at the mention of his name but his eyes are completely voided of emotion and that worries me. His beautiful green eyes are not as vibrate as before. “I’m here.” I say as I take his hand in mine only to find his fingertips are cold.

“I believe he was able to acknowledge your presence without you having to point it out.” A voice snaps me out of my thoughts only for Gino’s gaze to turn away from me.

I look over my shoulder as I let go of Gino’s hand only to find a man dressed in a white lab coat with a light beard that looks like he hasn’t shaved in two days. His dark hair is turning greyish so I’ll assume that he’s at least past his forties if not older. His glasses only further make him seem older than what he probably is.

“Who-”

“Kougami just shut it.” Sugo quickly says before I can even ask my question.

With everyone’s behavior towards me right now make me feel as if I’m the bad guy here. Like seriously what the fuck? First I get Sasayama on my ass and then I guess this guy who just basically insults my concern towards Gino and then Sugo acts as if I don’t even have the right to know who four eyes is.

“I’d say this is the worst condition I’ve seen you in but that would not, strictly speaking, be true.” The older man says as he approaches Gino’s bed.

Not the worst condition he’s seen Gino in? Exactly who is this man? I can’t help but look at him and I know I must have a puzzled look in my face right now but no one is providing any information for me. Exactly who is this guy and how does he know Gino? And what does he mean that he’s seen Gino in worst conditions than this?

“How are you feeling?” The man asks Gino. He’s not even bothering to acknowledge me. It’s as if I’m not even there and Gino hasn’t said anything to me either. The moment he heard that man’s voice, he quickly took his attention away from me. It’s as if this man is more important to him than me.

“Small… I’m not fine…” Gino answers but his speech is rather slurred. It’s almost as if he’s having problems pronouncing his words.

“How many fingers am I holding?” The older man asks as he holds out three fingers up.

“Three…” Gino answers but he wasn’t able to pronounce the r in the word. It was rather slurred and that alone worries me. Are his lungs giving him issues to speak?

“Very good.” The older man responds with a gentle smile but exactly what is good? Gino can’t fucking speak properly. Something is definitely wrong here. “How about you get some rest.” The older man advises before leaving the room and I bolt out to follow.

“Hey!” I voice out catching the older man’s attention.

If there is one thing I will not tolerate, it’s being ignored. Gino is my partner, he is my better half and I will not be kept in the dark concerning his condition. It doesn’t need a genius to know that nothing is very good in this case. Gino will be treated properly or there will be hell to pay.

“Begin a series of high dosage of ciprofloxacin, penicillin and doxycycline intravenous immediately for patient four-sixteen.” The man says when I nurse was passing by as he completely ignores my presence. “I don’t want a minute to pass without him having those antibiotics flowing through his veins.” He further instructs to the nurse in a rather calm tone only for the nurse’s calm expression to change to concern.

“Doctor, such combination of antibiotics are only used to treat a-”

“Yes. I’m aware but unfortunately we have a code red, level two.” He calmly cuts her off and now I’m even more confused. So this man is a doctor? But what the hell does he mean that we have a code red, level two? “But, no need to worry. The poison is currently affecting the patient’s parietal lobe which is causing the aphasia. All will be alright but let’s get moving before things aggravate any further.” He adds in that same calm tone.

Did he just say poison? Did someone poisoned Gino? I just don’t understand and no matter how I try to make any sense of anything, the more I get confused. Exactly what is going on?

“Yes doctor!” The nurse quickly acknowledges. “Right away.” She adds before bolting into a run.

“What are you talking about a code red? Poison?” I ask, catching the attention of the older man once again and this time he better not dismiss me. I have the right to know what is going on. I have the right to know what kind of treatment Gino is being administered. “What’s going on!? Who the hell are you!?” I further ask.

“I’m Doctor Jouji Saiga, Ginoza’s private doctor and I will be taking over for his care from this point forward.” He answers as if he’s now making all of the rules in this hospital.

Gino’s private doctor? Since when does he have a private doctor…? Unless… This man has something to do with Gino’s past that I’m not aware about. I never tried to ask Gino about his days as a hitman because I didn’t want to remind him of temptations. I didn’t want Gino to fall back into his old life again which is why I refused Gino’s offer to come with me to Tokyo. After all, what would he be doing there while I’m at work? It’s not like he would have any projects to work on anyhow.

“And I do believe that you have had contact with Ginoza in the last seventy-two hours and thus I will ask you to accompany these fine gentlemen.” He adds and I look over my shoulder only to see two men dressed in a hazmat suit standing behind me and others are now sealing Gino’s room and I don’t know what to say as I see Sugo being escorted out of the room by others in the same hazmat suit. What the hell is happening?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Mika**

I made the right call to reach out to Saiga. I knew something just wasn’t right when I saw Ginoza the other day. No one can tell me otherwise that he was dying but to think that he had contracted a strain of Anthrax. It sure wasn’t something that I was expecting but when Saiga told me that I had to be sent into an isolation room to make sure that I was not also hosting the bacteria, I was scared. Not just for me but for everyone that had come into contact with Ginoza.

After a few hours, I was cleared and so was Sugo and Sasayama. Kougami was kept longer into isolation for the fact that he lives with Ginoza. It sure didn’t make things better when spores had been found in Ginoza’s home. The quantity was at a bare minimum and eradicating the strain shouldn’t be a problem but it was still present. The thing is, the pores were found on dirty laundry. Kougami’s clothing to me more precise which is why he’s being kept in isolation for much longer.

Saiga hasn’t said anything but I’d be willing to bet that it was Kougami who introduced the bacteria to Ginoza. Of course I’m not blaming Kougami. He probably wasn’t even aware of it himself but I’m sure he brought it back with him when he came back from Tokyo and if that’s the case we have a major issue on our hands. An Anthrax outbreak is an international issue. Especially when we don’t know the primary source.

“Is someone going to fucking tell me what the fuck is going on?” Kougami’s sudden outburst takes me out of my thoughts as he’s admitted into our isolated waiting room. So… Saiga finally decided to let Kougami out of his primary isolation which is good new for him but bad news for us.

“Kougami calm down-”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down.” Kougami sharply cuts Sugo off much to my annoyance. He’s just trying to keep everyone calm to the best of his abilities. Kougami won’t do anyone any favours if he keeps on losing his cool like that. “I was stripped naked and hosed like a fricking animal so don’t tell me to stay calm.” He adds and although I should feel terrible for him, I still can’t help but find that bit of information rather funny.

“Well, join the party. You’re not the only one.” Sugo says and it makes sense for the medical experts to make sure that Sugo wasn’t carrying any of the spores on him since he was in contact with Ginoza for a very long time.

There is something that I find father strange. Ginoza has been in contact with so many people in the last few weeks and yet he’s the only one who got sick. I know for a fact that Kougami carried the spores on him and yet he didn’t get sick. Why not? There’s something more about this.

“What the hell is going on?” Kougami asks and I have to wonder if he’s that ignorant? “Where is Pops in all of this?” He further asks.

“Kougami will you just sit down and shut the fuck up!” Sasayama exclaims and immediately I saw Kougami’s expression change into pure anger. If I don’t do something, these men will rip each other apart within minutes.

“Enough of this horse shit!” I shout back, catching both men’s attention.

“He started it-”

“Kougami sit down!” I cut him off and finally he takes a seat.

I understand that Kougami is frustrated. After all, he flew three hours in order to get here only to get shoved into an isolation room to get scrubbed down. He’s angry at the lack of information that is provided of which again is understandable. Especially since I know Saiga is not the type of person to say much. He only ever says the bare minimum but when he speaks, it’s never for nothing.

As for Sasayama, I can understand his own frustration and anger. He might not be the most poetic of men and he definitely has his own flaws but he does have a strong friendship with Ginoza even though it might be that obvious. Those two have known each other for a very long time and I know that Sasayama must feel that Kougami somewhat abandoned Ginoza when he left for Tokyo.

“What the hell is going on?” Kougami says in a rather tired tone as he rubs his temples.

“We don’t know Kougami. We’re waiting for information just as much as you are.” Sugo answers, unable to hide his own fatigue as he spoke.

“Well, unlike you boys. I do.” I choose to say and immediately all three pairs of eyes shot up at me of which didn’t surprise me. After all, they’re men. Most men never expect a woman to know anything and yet they always act so surprise when they realise that we do.

“Don’t keep us hanging.” Sasayama shoots back, the first to break the silence.

“Ginoza has contracted a strain of Anthrax.” I advise and immediately as I said it, Kougami just bolted up to his feet.

“It can’t be a coincidence. It’s not unheard of for assassins to use such dirty tricks to assassinate someone.” He says and immediately his first instinct was to jump to the conclusion that someone is trying to assassinate Ginoza. Of course it wouldn’t be unheard of for retired hitmen to become a target for assassinations but biohazards wouldn’t be used.

“Kougami, you are the one who introduced Ginoza to this strain of Anthrax.” I counter back. “A team was able to locate spores onto dirty clothes into Ginoza’s home. They were your dirty clothes that were contaminated.” I quickly add before he can mutter anything else.

I think this piece of information just slapped him hard in the face as he crumbles into his chair. He seems rather defeated and now I know that he blames himself for allowing something like this to happen but it wasn’t his fault. It’s not like he knew that he was carrying spores onto himself and let alone he never got sick.

“If Kougami carried the spores, it must only mean that someone is unleashing Anthrax spores within the city of Tokyo.” Sasayama voices out and I’m pleased to see that he didn’t jump at the chance to put all of the blame onto Kougami. He’s angry but he’s rational enough to know that there is a much bigger threat.

“Something that I don’t understand. If Ginoza got infected by Anthrax and spores were found on a pile of dirty clothes… The how come none of us got sick?” Sugo voice out and that’s something that I’ve been wondering myself. There’s just something wrong with this strain or it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

I’m sure Saiga will be able to provide the answers that we are searching for soon but the way I know him, we’re not his current priority. His priority will be towards Ginoza and making sure that this Anthrax strain does not claim his life. We’re basically his last concern right now since we’re showing to be in no danger what so ever to this type of strain. He would have advised the nurses about a probation time and once that time is over, they’ll set us free but not a minute before.

“Anthrax is a versatile bacteria. If you know what you’re doing, you can modify it in order to get the desired effect that you want. There’s a reason after all why it is considered as biological weapon.” I tell them and that’s the scariest thing about this bacteria. It’s basically the perfect biological bomb. It’s just like what agent Aoyanagi told me when I was just starting out as Ginoza’s new manager. Anthrax, you can’t see it, you can’t smell it, you can’t taste it, you can’t hear it but it is there. It’s there, waiting to be able to claim its next victims by the thousands.

“I told him to call me if there was anything. Anything at all and he still chose not to.” Kougami voice out a few minutes of silence. I don’t know if it’s something that he wanted us to know or he’s just talking to himself. Either way, it serves him right. It’s not like Kougami could have done anything to help Ginoza anyway.

“What are you talking about?” Sasayama quickly shoots back, catching Kougami’s attention. “He called you at a bit past four in the morning but you never answered the phone. He called you twice; I saw it in his call log on his cellphone.” Sasayama adds and Kougami quickly pulls out his phone.

“I didn’t receive any calls from Gino.” Kougami states before tossing his phone to Sasayama and the man quickly swipes through Kougami’s call log before tossing it back. “You were the first call I got this morning.” Kougami adds.

I did see Ginoza’s phone and what Sasayama said is true. He did try to call Kougami two times earlier this morning. But, it is not unusual for cellphones to be unreliable from time to time. The call just doesn’t go through. I’ve seen that happen a few times. Actually, it happened a few times when I had called Ginoza on a few jobs and he wouldn’t respond only for him to call later not knowing that I had attempted to reach out to him.

I can understand the guys’ behavior and the high tension amongst them. Each one of these guys do care for Ginoza in their own way and this incident has drained all of them dry. Sugo is the one who had to endure the most within the last few hours. He’s the one who brought Ginoza here and without knowing what was wrong with him, I’m sure Sugo’s own anxiety was off the roof.

“Is Pops aware?” Kougami asks after a long silence.

“Yeah, he knows.” Sasayama answers.

Yeah Masaoka knows and he’s here at the hospital but due to the current situation, Saiga advised Masaoka not to get in contact with Ginoza. The only reason was because Masaoka has not had any contact with his son within the last seventy-two hours. Actually Ginoza hasn’t seen his dad in over a week.

Waiting always seems rather unbearable and it feels as if time is going by ever so slowly. I wish there was at least a clock in here and yet maybe it’s for the best. The sound of the clock ticking would probably be maddening. And, considering how on edge the guys are, I’m sure it wouldn’t take much for them to get at each other’s throat. It’s no secret that Sasayama has a grudge towards Kougami for having flown to Tokyo Sunday night and to be honest I don’t blame Sasayama. I, myself don’t respect Kougami’s decision to leave knowing that Ginoza was sick and no one knew exactly what was wrong with him. The fact, even after Kougami knew full well that there was something seriously wrong with Ginoza, he still chose to leave him.

What if Sugo had not gone to see Ginoza this morning? What if Ginoza would not have been able to call an ambulance? What would have happened to him? Chances are, Ginoza would not be with us right now if no one had been there to help him. But, if Kougami had been there like he should have, there would have been nothing to worry. The moment he had felt that something was wrong, Kougami could have taken Ginoza to the hospital and treatment could have been started right then and there. He wouldn’t have dropped into such a critical state but Saiga assured me that Ginoza would be okay.

The sound of the door opening snaps me out of my thoughts as a nurse enters but she’s not wearing the hazmat suit so that must mean we are finally cleared. It’s a good sign and I’m thankful as I stand up and so does the guys and I’m just hoping that Kougami is not going to leap back onto his high horse.

“Is our isolation period over?” I ask before any of the guys can speak. In cases like this, I feel as if they would do more harm than good and right now I can’t have that.

“Yes, the isolation period is over.” The nurse confirms.

“I need to see Nobuchika Ginoza right now.” Kougami quickly demands and I wish he could have remained quiet for a second. He’s so infuriating.

“Is our friend’s isolation period over as well?” I ask.

“Yes, the patient four-sixteen has cleared his own isolation period and is on his way to recovery.” The nurse answers and I’m relieved to hear this piece of news. The fact that Ginoza is now classified to be in the recovery period means that he’s out of danger. How long the recovery period will last is an unknown factor at this point but other than that, all is good.

With that, the nurse motions for us to exit the isolation room and without any argument we do so and of course Kougami is the first one to bolt out into a run in the halls. He’s such a nuisance. His kind of behavior is the last thing that Ginoza needs right now. But, he’ll soon find himself up against a stone wall if he gets out of hand. Saiga will make sure nothing interferes with his patients’ recovery.

We silently walk through the empty hall as we often come across some nurses at work. When Saiga had raised the alarm for a code red, the whole floor had gone into a frenzy. It felt like complete madness as they quickly isolated anyone who had had contact with Ginoza but their response to the emergency was well handled. It probably helped that they had Saiga here. After all, Saiga has had enough experience in dealing with Anthrax. He’s literally a veteran doctor when it comes to such emergencies which is why he was recruited into Interpol and because of that, it has given him a licence to practice medical internationally.

“Hey Mika, if you don’t mind me asking. How did that doctor diagnose Ginoza without conducting any test?” Sugo suddenly ask as we approach Ginoza’s room. “Just by talking to him, he just knew what he had.” He adds.

“It was Ginoza’s affected speech that gave it all away.” I answer. “Saiga has seen enough Anthrax symptoms in his twenty years of experience to know it right away.” I further advise.

It’s a good thing that Saiga was able to deduct what Ginoza had in such a short period of time. That alone is probably what saved him in the end. If it had been another doctor who had handled this case, Ginoza probably would have died.

We enter Ginoza’s room and Kougami beat us here, not like it was much of a surprise but he’s calmed and it looks like he hasn’t dared to say anything with Masaoka who’s by Ginoza’s bed side. Ginoza is semi-conscious and to be honest I’m not even sure if he’s conscious enough to register anything that is going on around him right now. Right now, what he needs is some good rest and I think the cause for his groggy state might be due to some medication to help him relax. I’m sure in a few minutes he’s going to crash.

A slight tap on my shoulder catches my attention only to see that it’s Saiga as he motions for me to follow him and I do as discreetly as possible. The last thing I want is for Kougami to put his nose where it doesn’t belong.

“Will Ginoza be okay?” I ask once we’ve taken some distance from Ginoza’s room.

“He’ll live. He’s expected to make a full recovery.” Saiga answers and that’s good.

“You made the call haven’t you?” I ask already knowing what the answer would be.

“I wouldn’t take any chances. There are reports of similar symptoms as Ginoza in Tokyo with quite a few elderlies and young children.” He answers and that’s kind of odd considering how lethal Anthrax is. Why only the elderly and young children? It just doesn’t make any sense.

“This strain of Anthrax is a strange one.” I state.

“It’s a delicate strain. It’s a strain intended only to affect those with a weakened immune system. The strong ones such as yourself, your immune system will be able to kill it but as for Ginoza, his immune system was already in a weaken state due to multiple lung infections.” Saiga explains but in order for someone to create such a strain, they would have to possess a great amount of knowledge in microbiology. “Ginoza was simply the unfortunate individual who ended up in contact with a few spores and since this Kougami is reported to occasionally work in Tokyo, it is safe to assume that these patients in Tokyo also have contracted that very same Anthrax.” Saiga further explains and I’m sure he must have already advised the hospital in Tokyo. The moment anyone over there would have heard of Saiga’s name, all would have dropped what they were doing.

“Do I need to get to work?” I ask.

“No.” Saiga answers. “He’s a grown man. No need to do everything for him.” He further adds and that brings a smile on my face. It reminds me of the good old days.

**XXX**

* * *

 

**Chapter 5.5**

**Sasayama**

I can finally relax now that I can see Gino right in front of me and that I know he will live. Pops even confirmed that he had spoken to the doctor and all would be okay and that’s all I need. I’m not like Kou. I don’t need to know when Gino will wake up. I don’t need to know why so many checks ups failed to detect the Anthrax before now. I don’t need to know any of that shit. All I need to know is that Gino will make a full recovery and no I don’t need to know how long that recovery will take. If his recovery takes a year, then so be it. It’s just minor details when you consider that he could have died.

Right now, I just want to avoid Kougami as much as possible but I also want to be near Gino in case he needs anything. So what is a guy to do when the person you want to avoid is pretty much always there? Pretend you’re sleeping in the corner of the room. After all, it’s not that hard to fake since Sugo is actually passed out in his own corner. So, with my nice pair of dark shades on my face, it’s quite easy to fake sleeping all the while I can keep a close eye on Gino in case he wakes up.

Kougami is infuriating. Ever since we were able to come back to Gino’s room, it feels as if he’s constantly competing with Sugo for Gino’s attention. Seriously? Like the guy is so groggy from all the medication he’s been given, he doesn’t even give a damn who he sees first or not. When he comes out from a light nap, he doesn’t need any unnecessary shit. The guy’s throat is fucking dry; getting a sip of water is the only thing he actually cares for at this point. He doesn’t give a damn who gives it to him, he just fucking wants it.

Sugo doesn’t have any hidden motives; he just wants to help Gino as much as he can of which is understandable. Within the last year, Sugo and Gino have become good friends of which is not a surprise or a shocker since they are basically neighbors. What the hell did Kou expect would happen? It’s not like Gino would just start going out with him and seclude himself from everyone Kou interacts with. That’s not how the world works.

No one has any hidden agenda or anything against Kou. Sometimes I feel as if Kou thinks we’re trying to steal Gino away from him or something. As of late, I do feel as if Kou has grown paranoid over the matter to the point that he’s even starting to question Gino’s persona altogether. The fact that he had started to spy on Gino in their own home is still something that digs into my skin. It’s not something I’ve been able to swallow as of yet.

“Gino, what do you need?” I hear Kougami suddenly ask and just like a little monkey he just sprinted to the bed in all haste. You would have thought that something had caught on fire or something.

“Water…” Gino barely answered.

I watch Kou as he looks around for something he can offer Gino to drink with little success. Like seriously dude, you should have been prepared. It’s not like you didn’t know that Gino would be parched the moment he would wake up. He was parched when he first woke up, and he was parched again the second time he woke up so what made him think that it would have been different the next time?

“I’ve got what he needs here.” I hear someone say only to see that it’s Gino’s doctor when he entered the room.

The doctor walks over to Gino when the ringtone of a cellphone starts playing and immediately Kou digs his hand into his pocket and pulls it out. I watch him as he looks at his phone and I know he’s going to take that call. I know it just by the look on his face and I have to stop myself from shaking my head in disbelief.

“I have to take this.” He tells Gino before tapping his phone and puts the thing to his ear. “Hello…” He answers as he walks out of the room and I just want to wack my head. Like seriously? You’re just going to leave Gino there like it’s nothing?

Unbelievable, just unbelievable. I’m rather speechless right now although I knew he would do that but I was still holding onto a bit of hope that he wouldn’t have. Never in my life would I have believed that Kou would have pulled something like that. I don’t care if it was his work or whatever, did he really have to take that call right now? Even if he had, was it really necessary to leave the room? He just basically ditched Gino for what? A stupid call?

“It’s your favourite.” I hear the doctor say as he hands over a bottle of what looks like to be pedialyte of which is a smart choice. It’s not something I would have thought of but it definitely would help to rehydrate Gino’s body way better than just plain water.

“I hate it.” Gino says after a few sips and I can imagine that he doesn’t like it. Although I definitely agree with his doctor’s choice, the clear one is not the best tasting choice. He should have gone with the purple one. Gino would definitely had loved the purple one.

“I know.” The doctor quickly responds back without missing a beat and I think he may have chosen the clear just for the fun of it.

This doctor is definitely a strange one but he knows what he’s doing. Even I wouldn’t dare to complain about his decisions and methods. Hell, the guy was even able to get the hospital in Tokyo to quickly act in treating patients with similar symptoms like it was nothing. Apparently from what I was able to find out from Shimotsuki, the officials at the hospital in Tokyo didn’t even try to argue with this man. They quickly dropped everything and listened to the instruction he was giving the moment they heard his name.

“You don’t approve.” Gino voice out after a few more sip of his drink.

“He’s a unique one.” The doctor answers. To be honest, I don’t know if I would call Kou unique. He’s different, I won’t argue against that but he’s not anywhere near as something as unique. To be even more honest, I still wonder what Gino even sees in him but then again, he has started to take his distance away from Kou. It’s discreet and probably no one noticed the subtle changes but I know Gino, I grew up with him and I know when he starts to retreat from someone. “Not as glamorous as the last one.” The doctor adds and that peaked my interest.

I agree that Kou isn’t what you’d call glamorous that’s for sure. The fact that this man just voiced out that Gino has been involved with someone rather glamorous is definitely something. He’ll have to spill the beans about this one later that’s for sure. I’ll wait until Kou is not around of course since I can just tell that Kou would jump on his high horse again.

“If I had been in his shoes, there would not have been a call in the world that could have dragged me away from a loved one who was hanging in the balance between life and death only a few hours ago.” The doctor voice out and I agree.

I honestly don’t know how Kou could just leave Gino like that for a damn phone call? Like Gino just woke up, he was groggy, he needed something to drink but instead of doing something to help, he left. Yeah the doctor was here and yes the doctor is more than qualified to care for Gino’s recovery but still. You don’t just leave your loved one just like that. You just don’t.

“Well, that’s Kougami for you.” Gino states with that uninterested tone he often uses.

I can’t say that I blame Gino for being this way, Kou asked for it but I still hate seeing a relationship that had potential but fell apart right in front of me. However, I can’t put all the blame onto Kou either. Gino is not perfect either and yes he did try with Kou, I can’t deny that but deep down I always felt like Gino had someone else on his mind. But, the way Kou has been behaving, I can’t really blame Gino if he were to have someone else on his mind. Especially if his last romance was better than what he has right now.

“Yes, I see that.” Doc says with that same calm tone before gesturing towards Sugo and continues, “Your friend sleeping in that corner received multiple calls today but chose to ignore every single one until he was forced to answer and quickly dismissed the call stating that his friend needed him more.”

Sugo sure did. He ignored his sister’s calls over and over again until he felt he had to answer. He didn’t want to cause his sister any worries and briefly explained that he had an emergency and just couldn’t talk. After that, he didn’t touch his phone until he was escorted to his isolation. It was only after we were reunited in the isolated waiting room that he told me he had called Tsunemori and explained to her the situation.

The girls immediately volunteered to care for Gino’s puppy and they will also care for Sugo’s dog at the same time. At least Gino doesn’t have to worry about the wellbeing of that animal while he’s getting better. From what Sugo told me, Tsunemori was more than happy to help out with whatever she could.

“Well, that’s Sugo for you.” Gino states with a more energetic tone but still can’t hide the fatigue in his voice.

“And the other friend who’s pretending to be fast asleep in the other corner is simply there in case you need something.” The doc states, catching me completely by surprise.

“And here I thought my act was believable.” I quickly voice out as I take off my shades. Like seriously, I didn’t move a muscle. “What gave me away?” I ask.

“Your breathing. If you are to pretend to be asleep, you might want to make sure your breathing is long and slow.” The doctor answers and I guess it makes sense but you have to be super observant to see something like that. This man, he’s amazing and yet rather frightening but then again, should it surprise me? He was after all the doctor that Gino went to during his time as a hitman. This man knows things that he probably shouldn’t and one would be smart enough not to mess with him. This man might be a doctor and he might be well respected but I’m also sure that he’s also well protected.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I choose to say.

“And that, is Sasayama for you.” Gino quickly states with a gentle smile and I wonder if he also noticed that I wasn’t really sleeping. At this point, I think he’s been aware about more things than one may think.

“Damn right it is.” I shoot back as I put back my shades on and resume my pretend sleeping.

Maybe I’m not that good at playing pretend but at least I’m good enough to fool Kou and that’s all I need right now. I just don’t have the patience to deal with him right now. He’s a good guy; he has become a good friend but damn are his flaws hard to swallow sometimes.

“I almost mistook your friend over there to be your partner initially.” Doc says as he slightly gestures towards Sugo and that stings a bit.

Sugo is genuinely a good person who keeps on getting the short end out of everything. I know that he applied for lead detective when he came here but ended up getting pushed aside by Kou. He had more experience out on the field but in the end, the fact that Kou came from Tokyo made him get the job. He then applied for detective again a few years afterwards but then again he got the short end. He was passed over for Tsunemori and although he was clearly disappointed he didn’t voice out his discontent.

To think that this man almost mistook Sugo for Gino’s lover stings a little since he didn’t voice out the same towards me. But, I’ll give it to Sugo. I’m not selfish, I can share. I always told myself that whoever Gino ends up with, I’ll accept it. I’d rather have his friendship than not having anything at all.

“When I look at you and your partner. Do you know what I don’t see?” Doc suddenly asks Gino and now I want to hear this.

“What?” Gino inquires before taking another sip of his drink.

“Passion, a connection and devotion.” Doc answers and that was quite direct. He sure doesn’t go by different roads to say something. It’s right to the point and I think that may be why he gets along very well with Gino. Actually, even I can tell that he holds the good doctor in high regards. They’re more than just patient and doctor, they are very good friends and they talk to each other just like it is. “When I look at you, all I see is indifference with little interest and when I look at Kougami, all I see is lust with a mind elsewhere.” He adds.

He’s right that Gino is quite indifferent towards Kou. I do understand that he’s been ill for quite some time but I know he wasn’t when he came back. I know he felt good enough to have sex with Kou if he wanted and that’s exactly it, he doesn’t want to and why is that, I’ve never asked. It just wasn’t my place to question something like that.

Kou on the other hand is lustful towards Gino, that’s no secret. Maybe that lust might be the reason as to why Gino refuses to have sex with him. After all, Gino hates doing something if he feels he’s obliged to do it. I know he doesn’t avoid sex because he’s repulsed by it. I know for a fact that Gino’s sex drive isn’t low but he doesn’t like being pushed into it either.

“It is what it is.” Gino replies with that same indifferent tone and at this point, I can’t tell if Gino has given up on the relationship altogether but it’s not like I didn’t see it coming.

I saw it coming from a mile away. At first it was subtle and I thought I was imagining it but slowly, I started seeing Gino as more shut down. At first, I thought I was over thinking it but as time progressed I could tell that the union wasn’t in a good place. Although, Gino did demonstrate that he tried to make it work but after a while I think he might have realized that he was the one putting in more effort. I’m convinced that Gino knows what Kou did with those cameras. That alone would be enough to kill any relationships.

“Yes, it is what it is. But do tell me, is it worth it?” Doc asks and I have to stop myself from voicing out my own answer. In the end of it all, I don’t feel that it is worth it but it’s not for me to tell Gino that unless he asks for my opinion. “To keep something alive when there’s nothing to hold it together is more of a torture to the human mind than taking your separate ways.” He adds and I couldn’t agree more but if Gino chooses to continue with this relationship, I will support him no matter what but he really needs to step back for a bit and see if this is really worth it.

The thing is, in the long run I don’t think that Gino would be happy. I know how much Gino does love kids and I know deep down he’d like to have some in the future. Kou on the other hand, he doesn’t want kids. Actually, he doesn’t like them at all so I know if Gino stays with Kou, he’ll never have any.

“You already know the answer to that.” Gino answers.

“Do you know why you feel this way?” Doc asks.

“I’m fairly certain that you’re about to tell me.” Gino replies.

“I brought this back with me from France.” Doc adds as he takes out something from his lab coat pocket and gives something to Gino but I can’t tell what it is.

“After all those years… You still have it…” Gino says after a short silence as he stares at the item that was given to him which makes me wonder what it is. I’d like to ask but it’s not my place, not right now at least. “You should have thrown it away.” Gino adds and now I want to know what it is even more.

“If I would have to say, this alone is your deepest regret and deep down you left it in my possession knowing full well that I would not have thrown it away.” Doc says and now I think I might guess what it is. Sounds like it might be something about that more glamorous lover he once had in the past and it was much more than just infatuation. Maybe she made Gino feel differently than all his other past relationships and in the end he didn’t know how to deal with it. “It doesn’t show right now but in ten years from now, you’re going to regret for not going after her.” He adds and Gino will so have to tell me about this past lover.

Gino wasn’t the most popular kid in school but he wasn’t far from it. He was more popular than me and he could have had a different girl around his arm every week if he had wanted but it wasn’t his way. He did have a few relationships during our time in high school but they never lasted for very long. It wasn’t because he didn’t like them; he just lost interest in the relationship as a whole.

Sometimes, I wonder if Gino might be losing interest in his current relationship. It sure does look like it considering the fact that I know he’s prone for doing that. It sure won’t help Kou’s case knowing that an old friend of Gino’s is not on Kou’s side to begin with. He’s not particularly close with many but those that he is close to, he’ll have a habit to go with those people’s opinion. I, for example wouldn’t have to coax him too much to get Gino to kick Kou to the curb but I know it just wouldn’t be right.

I know how Gino is all too well and because I know him so well, I have to be careful with what I say in his presence. I can’t always voice out my opinions about certain things and I can’t always vent to him if I’m frustrated towards someone. Especially if it’s towards someone in our entourage. He’ll turn against that person, he’ll hold a grudge towards them because in his mind that person is affecting someone close to him and he’ll take it personal. He just cares too much to the point that he makes himself miserable. But, that’s who Gino is. You can always trust him that he’ll have your back no matter what.

“I belong here. This is my home.” Gino states.  

I’m glad to hear him say that. He could have gone just about anywhere when he left without a word. He was a free man; he could have done anything he could have wanted. He could have sunk his roots just about anywhere and started his life anew but he chose to come back to Naha. I know he won’t leave if he does decide to end things with Kou. He’s got too much going on around here to just abandon it and he’s not the type to quit the things that he’s working on either.

“God knows I’ve been away for far too long.” He adds and I agree. Too many years passed with him gone. His absence affected quite a few people and I was one of them. When you’re so used to seeing someone every day and just suddenly they disappear, it’s hard to adapt. It’s like a part of you dies in a sense. There’s just this unfillable void and no matter how many people that enters your life, there’s always that empty spot that never gets filled up. No matter how hard you try.

“I know you still have your old contacts. All you have to do is one call and you know as much as I do you’ll be able to get back to her.” Doc voice out and it sure wouldn’t surprise me if Gino still had all of his old contacts from his old profession. He’d be a fool if he had thrown all of that away. After all, only an idiot would think that a hitman can retire peacefully. I’m convinced if I would do a thorough search in his house, I’d be able to find his gear. I know he must have a few guns stashed somewhere. “If it’s all the same to you, she’s not with anyone.” The doc adds and the more he speaks about this mystery woman, the more I want to hear the story. Who is she? How did Gino meet her? And his old contacts being able to get a hold of her must mean that she was connected to his old life in some way. Man! I want to know more.

“Sorry about that.” I hear Kou say as he enters the room like nothing happened. He sure took his sweet ass time taking that call.

“Time is a valuable thing but with all valuable things, it has an expiration date.” The doc voice out before exiting the room of which only leaves Kou confused.

“What was that about?” Kou asks as he looks at Gino for an answer like he owes him one. Gino just shrugs as he takes another few sips of his drinks so I guess he doesn’t plan on telling anything about what he discussed with the doc. So, I guess he plans on leaving Kou much in the dark for now but Kou better be careful with how he behaves with Gino from now on. He does have a forgiving nature but he never forgets and he’s no stranger to being spiteful towards those who have wronged him. In the end, he will get his due when he’s finally had enough and holds all the right cards in his hands.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Ginoza**

I’d like to say this week has been the worst week of my entire life but that would not technically be true. There have been other occasions that would surely win that award. It wasn’t my worst, but I sure do not want to go through that again any time soon. The pain was excruciating with every breath I would take. At one point it felt like I was choking, drowning even and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t gather any air into my lungs. With that brief experience, I sure do not want to die suffocating. I surely believe that dying by suffocation is the worst way that a person could possibly die.

Sugo told me at the hospital that I shouldn’t worry about my newly acquired pup. He told me after I came to at the hospital that Tsunemori was going to take care of it but she did more than just take care of the puppy. It looks like she did a thorough cleaning throughout the whole house. Not that I would complain, I just wasn’t expecting that when I was finally able to come home.

I don’t know why I feel like a stranger in my own home. Perhaps it’s the fact that I know this is where I contracted the bacteria that almost killed me… I’m just standing in the hall between the kitchen and the living room as I look around while Kougami is unpacking the bag he had brought for me at the hospital although what he brought was completely useless. Most of the things he had packed were his own things so it wasn’t really helpful for me.

“I think I might go jump off a cliff to my death.” I say out loud, loud enough that I know Kougami heard me upstairs.

“Sounds like fun.” He answers back as I hear him fumble with something upstairs.

He didn’t even bother to listen to what I said. If he hadn’t heard me perfectly, he could have asked me to repeat myself but it only shows whatever I have to say doesn’t really matter… During my hospitalization, he was there but it also felt as if he wasn’t. More than half of the time he was on his phone and barely paid any attention to me. That is unless Sugo or Sasayama were trying to help me with certain things, then he was all in my face.

I’m getting tired of all this. I hate feeling this way and at this point, I feel as if the only thing that matters to Kougami is that I’m physically here. That I’m his and no others… I can’t live that way. I don’t belong to anyone.

“There you are.”

My dad’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts as I turn around to meet his gaze. He seems rather joyful compared to how he was all week. Not that I can blame him, I don’t think I’d want to see my own child in the same state I was in but I was glad he was there. The first few days are a blur and I have a fair amount of blanks but I remember that he was always there. He made the week go by a bit better.

“It’s a beautiful day. You should get some sun.” He tells me and it’s true. I can’t argue against that but I know it’s not exactly the reason why he’s urging me to come outside. I already know everyone is planning on a surprise party of the sort. Sasayama told me before I was released from the hospital this morning since he knows I’m not very fond of surprises.

Surprise parties are not something that I care about but I wouldn’t complain about them either since I know it was done with good intentions. I appreciate the gesture but sometimes certain things are a bit too much and I just can’t handle it but I don’t have to worry about that with the gang. They always prefer going the simple route and just go with the flow.

The sound of a phone ringing catches my ears as I feel rage start to gather. If I haven’t heard that damn phone ring a dozen times within a few hours, I didn’t hear it at all. It’s to the point that it’s starting to drive me crazy.

“I swear if I hear that phone ring one more time…” I say as I try to calm myself as I hear Kougami answer the phone. I swear, his phone has become his most important thing.

“It might be some news about Interpol.” Dad tells me and I just want to slap myself in the face.

Did I hear him correctly? Did he just say that Kougami is waiting for a call from Interpol? Just when I thought that Kougami wouldn’t go behind my back just like with Tokyo, he does…

“Why would Interpol be calling Kougami?” I ask, already knowing the answer. In a way, I shouldn’t be surprised but I still can’t believe that he’s doing it again.

We hadn’t been together for long when he told me he had gotten a position in Tokyo. He had the nerve to tell me he had applied for the position a month after we had gotten together. I didn’t bother to voice out my opinion about it since I knew it was pointless since he had already had the job but still. He could have at least talked to me about it and to be honest I should smacked on the head right then and there.

“He applied for a position with Interpol three weeks ago.” Dad tells me as he invites me to come with him and I follow.

He had applied for a position with Interpol three weeks ago… I try to understand his logic but I can’t. He applies for different position elsewhere but continues doing his former positions. Does he plan on keeping his job at the precinct, do Tokyo and Interpol? No matter how you look at it, it’s just not logical.

“What a surprise. He failed to mention that.” I voice out as I close the door. “Not that it should really surprise me much. That’s what he does, that’s what he always does.” I add as we make our way to the sitting area on the beach.

“I’m sorry son. I honestly thought you knew.” Dad tells me and it would only be natural for him to think so. Normally, I should have been the first person that Kougami would have told but he always does the complete opposite. I’m always the last to know everything and then he expects me to be understanding and go along with whatever he decides. That’s not how things work.

“It’s just like when he applied for the position in Tokyo. He told me once he got the job and he was leaving the week after.” I further voice out as I sit down on the swing and adjust the cushions to make it more comfortable and dad takes the vacant seat beside me. “What do you suggest?” I ask.

“I can’t make any decisions for you, son.” He tells me but that’s not really what I’m asking him. Right now, there’s so much emotion going through me that I don’t trust myself. “But, if you ask for my advice, I will have to say to go with what makes you happy.” He adds.

“I am happy.” I say.

“No, you’re not happy. You haven’t been happy in a while.” He quickly counters back and he’s right. I wish I could say otherwise but I’m not. The position that I’m in, it’s not something I thought I’d ever see myself in and I hate myself for allowing myself to be in this position in the first place. “The last time I saw you this way, you disappeared and I thought I’d never see you again.” He adds.

“I’m not leaving Naha. You don’t have to worry about that.” I quickly tell him.

I may not be happy about the situation that I’m in and there is a lot of things that I’m not sure of but if there is something that I’m most certain about is that my place is here in Naha. I don’t plan on leaving. I’m here to stay and I want dad to know that. I’m not leaving this time.

“Good.” He quickly shoots back and continues, “I don’t always voice out my opinion but I have eyes and I’ve noticed some things but I will not put my nose into your business but if there is anything, do know I’m always here for you, son.”

“I know…”I acknowledge.

It’s true he’s always been there for me and I know I was wrong to leave the way that I did. I know he doesn’t approve of what I did but we’ve made peace on that. He’s even proposed that I should perhaps join the taskforce but I declined the offer. Not that I wouldn’t have liked it. I just didn’t feel ready to enter such a job with my injury still healing and I had a feeling that it wouldn’t have suited Kougami very well. I know he wouldn’t have approved and the last thing I wanted was unnecessary drama.

“I kind of feel somewhat selfish.” I say after some silence as the swing gently swings back and forth and all I can hear are the ocean waves washing on the sandy shore.

“Selfish?” Dad repeats before continuing, “You haven’t behaved selfishly otherwise I would have pointed it out.”

“I entered this relationship not whole heartedly…” I admit and I wonder what he’ll think about that. He’s never really expressed his opinion about my relationship with Kougami. I know he doesn’t hate him but whether he approves of it or not, he’s never really said anything.

“Is there someone else?” He asked as if he thinks I currently have another or perhaps it’s just me overthinking things.

“There was…” I admit but that was a long time ago and Saiga was right when he said that it was my biggest regret. “I lost her, not because we didn’t get along. We were great but I didn’t feel like the kind of life I was living was right for her but I didn’t want to stop so I left without saying anything.” I further admit as I take out the small box out of my pocket that Saiga gave me and open it to reveal the ring I had bought for her but was never able to actually propose.

“And ever since, this woman has been in the back of your mind.” Dad says after a bit of silence as he looks at the ring before taking the box to look at it closer. “You have to decide which is more important. The relationship that you left behind or the one you currently have.” He says before closing the box and giving it back to me but I can’t tell if he’s surprised by the fact that I had wanted to get engaged to someone. The only thing that I can tell is that he doesn’t disapprove by the look in his eyes.

“Am I a terrible person for leaning towards what I had instead of what I have?” I ask as I stare at the box for a few seconds before shoving it back into my pocket.

“No, it only makes you human.” He answers but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

I’ve never stopped loving her. Even a year ago when I met Kougami again, I still had her in the back of my mind but I thought if I entered in a relationship with Kougami that the feelings I had for her would just eventually disappear. The complete opposite happened instead. I ended up wanting her presence more with every little thing that Kougami did that angered me.

The thing is, I do love Kougami but with everything that he does in my back only further pushes me away. It’s come to the point that I’m starting to hate him. He’s a good person when he puts his whole self into something but he hasn’t given his all during the whole relationship. It just feels like I’ve been the only one trying to make it work…

“What do you advise?” I ask again.

“Well, to begin with. Do you know where she is and more importantly is this woman available?” He asks in return and that’s a fair question to ask. I know if I would tell my dad that she’s seeing someone, he would tell me to leave her alone. That I have no right to interfere into her personal life and I agree. I would never try to destroy a relationship in order to have someone that I want. It just wouldn’t be right.

“She is…” I tell him as I recall the morning I had seen her at the café when I had dropped by Lyon to give my resignation to my former employer. She had been so beautiful that morning but I couldn’t bring myself to go talk to her knowing how I had left her without a goodbye. I didn’t even leave her a letter to explain why I had left. I just left her without any warning or anything. “Finding her wouldn’t be hard.” I add.

Finding her was never the problem. She never moved out of Lyon and she never relocated to a new place after I had left. Nothing about her has changed and there’s still the doubt if she would still have me if I just showed up at her doorstep but a part of me can’t do it. I feel as if it would be an insult if I were to show up like that. I even have ways to communicate with her on social media but I can never allow myself to reach out to her. If I was her, I wouldn’t forgive me for what I did.

“In that case, I’d suggest that you go for this woman.” Dad tells me, catching me by surprise since I wasn’t expecting him to encourage me to go after the one I had allowed to get away. “I will admit it’s not fair to Kou that you always have another in the back of your mind nor is it fair to you either.” He adds and I agree. It’s not fair for Kougami but I partly blame Kougami for how I feel. He never once tried to get closer. He simply expects everything to fall at his feet without putting in any effort. The only time that he does put in some effort is because he wants something and knowing that he only cares about sex just doesn’t make me want to have any. He just kills me.

“She lives in France…” I say.

“And that small factor is the only thing that is stopping you from reaching out to her?” He asks and I want to say yes but that’s not it.

“I don’t want to force her to leave a place that she loves for me.” I choose to say.

“But that decision belongs to her and no others.” He answers and I know it’s her decision but I don’t want to give her a choice that she either leaves France to be with me or stay in France and I’m gone. Especially not the way I left her to begin with. “I’m starting to think that perhaps you already know what this woman would decide. Deep down, I think you know that she would get on a plan for Japan in a heartbeat and it makes you nervous.” Dad adds and suddenly I feel my chest becoming heavier. “If you choose to take this step. Yes, your life will change but it will also allow you to move on and carry on with your life and start what you’ve been craving.” He adds.

“And what’s that?” I ask as I feel my heart beat a bit harder.

“A family of your own but to get that, you need to get out of your comfort zone and take that leap.” He tells me.

I do want a family of my own one day. I do want children and I know with Kougami that will never happen. I’m not an idiot, even though he asked me before if I wanted children, I know deep down he doesn’t want any. He’s never been a fan of children to begin with and especially babies. I think he would crawl into the smallest hole possible in order to avoid them.

Anyway, it’s not like I’d ever want to raise children with Kougami to begin with. It just wouldn’t be good for the little ones and I know I’d have a hard time to bond with children that aren’t even mine. If I am to have children, I want them to be of my blood and that of my partner’s and with Kougami that’s just impossible anyway.

“Hey Gino!” I hear Sugo call out. “I think someone missed you!” He adds as he puts down the small pup onto the ground and with great excitement he comes dashing towards me.

“Hey!” I say as I reach out to the small pup. “I missed you too!” I say as I try to pet him but he’s just so excited that he just can’t stand still.

“That pup is a real sweetheart!” Tsunemori voices out as she makes her way to the sitting area with Karanomori and Kunizuka in tow.

“Akane didn’t want to return it.” Karanomori states and that’s not really too hard to understand. My newly acquired puppy is simply irresistible.

“He was just too cuddly.” Tsunemori says as she takes a seat and I see Mika coming with Kagari and Hinakawa.

I don’t know what time it is but since everyone is gathering, I’m assuming it must be close to one in the afternoon. Sasayama is the last to arrive as usual but that’s how he is. He’s never early for anything but you can always trust him to be there. It’s more than what I can say for Kougami as of late. He used to always be the first one there for everything but now he’s always late and you never know when he’s going to be showing up.

Sugo’s dog has grown a lot since the last time I saw her and she has calmed down a lot as well. A few months ago, Sugo wouldn’t have been able to let her loose while he’s trying to get a fire going in the fire pit. He’d always have to run after her and if you dared to take your eyes off her for a minute she’d be gone to who knows where. But she’s energetic, it’s in her nature to run but she’s a great dog. She’s very patient with children and to be honest, I don’t think she would ever harm a child. She’ll endure all sorts of their abuse and not due a thing but it’s probably because she knows Sugo will come to her rescue.

“Will the dog ever get a name?” Sasayama asks as he sits down onto the swing next to mine and Sugo takes the vacant seat next to him once he’s able to get the fire going.

“I haven’t given it a thought.” I admit but to be honest I’ve never been very good at naming animals. It always takes me ages before I can decide on a name.

“Understandable.” Sasayama says and continues, “I don’t think you had time to think in between spurting out blood.”

“I thought you missed that scene.” Sugo quickly states so I guess even Sugo was fooled by Sasayama’s sleeping act.

“I wasn’t always pretending to be asleep you know.” Sasayama shoots back.

“Sasayama you didn’t.” Karanomori voices out as if she’s somewhat surprised that Sasayama would do something like that but I’m pretty sure she’s just being sarcastic.

“Hey, I didn’t want to talk to Kou.” Sasayama quickly states.

“Understandable as of late.” Kunizuka adds and when people of your own entourage do on purpose to avoid you, it’s not a good sign but Kougami is so focused on himself as of late that he fails to even notice that he’s driving his friends away.

“Sugo named his dog Penny.” Kagari voice out as he takes a seat on another swing with Hinakawa. “Like a lame ass penny.” He adds and that’s true. Sugo did name his dog after a penny.

“Hey what can I say, her fur is copper like an American penny.” He says in his defense. “Hey, Gino. How about this. He’s silver just like a dime.” He asks.

“Dime?” I repeat as I look at the puppy who is now sitting in front of me ever so calmly as he tilts his head sideways as if waiting to hear the verdict.

“Why not. It’s catchy.” Sugo adds and I agree it is catchy but I don’t know. It does seem to give a reaction to the pup though. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that he is itching to have a name.

“Look at that, if I didn’t know any better I’d say that the little rascal likes it.” Sasayama voice out and it does seem that way.

“Dime it is then.” I state as I gently stroke the pup’s head.

“Tsunemori, I want to thank you for what you did in the house.” I say before I forget. She didn’t have to do all of that, but I am grateful and the last thing I want is to take people for granted.

“It was my pleasure but I wasn’t the only one.” Tsunemori quickly state and of course she wouldn’t be the only one but I am grateful.

“Thank you all. It’s highly appreciated.” I add.

“Hey, you’d do the same for us.” Kagari quickly adds and yes I would without a second thought. “Hey! It’s the man of the hour!” He suddenly shouts out only to see that it’s Saiga making his way down the stone steps.

I was wondering when he was going to make an appearance. He always made a habit to stop by my residence every time I was discharged from the medical ward. Each time I would inquire as to why, he would always answer that it was his job but there was always more to it. It’s only after I got to him a bit better that I learned that he lost his wife early in their marriage. She died while giving birth to a stillborn son and he never remarried. Instead, he just dived deeper in his work and to him, his patience are his children so he makes sure they’re all well taken care of.

“Now don’t say that you already missed us?” Sasayama says in that same old carefree attitude. “I know I’m irresistible but still.” He adds.

“A good doctor always comes to pay a visit to their patient.” Saiga states and of course he would state something like that. “Good to see he doesn’t look like a chipmunk this time around.” He adds as Mika makes room on her swing for Saiga to sit.

“You’re never going to let me forget that one.” I tell him and somehow I just knew he would through that one back at me.

“Woah! What happened there?” Sasayama is the first to ask questions and I know he’s already trying to get a mental image in his head. “An allergic reaction or what?” He further asks and if only it had been an allergic reaction. If only.

“Wisdom teeth extraction. That’s what happened.” Mika quickly answers. “For a week he was like this.” She adds as she gathers in air in her mouth to stuff in her cheeks.

“It’s all fine. I got my sweet revenge two years later when it was finally Mika’s turn.” I choose to say and that sweet revenge was more than sweet and it was hilarious.

“Torturous pain.” Mika states and it sure was torturous indeed. She couldn’t have said it better. “It was still some good times.” She adds and I can’t argue with that either. It was a hellish week to say the least but it was still part of the good old days.

“Just out of curiosity, but how did you two meet?” Sugo asks as he looks at me and then at Saiga.

“Yeah, I’ve been wondering about that myself. It just seems like two unlikely duo.” Tsunemori adds.

No one has ever asked me about my past before. I guess most must think it would have been a bad idea to do so. Some might even think if they asked me about my past that I might be tempted to go back into that life. But, my old life isn’t a drug. I’m not addicted to it and no, I wouldn’t go back into that life but there are other things I can do with my skills. I know I would just have to do one call and I’d have a position that would probably piss off Kougami in so many ways. Right now, I’m just enjoying the tranquility.

“Well… It was through one of my employers.” I choose to say.

“But you’re such a respected physician. I just don’t understand.” Tsunemori says to Saiga and yes he is a respected physician but she’s disregarding one basic fact in law enforcement. Nothing is shadier than the law.

“Military and law enforcement will hire individuals like Nobuchika to carry out specific tasks and in return they are granted clemency for their work.” Saiga explains.

“I had no idea that was a thing.” Tsunemori says and if I didn’t know any better I’d say that she’s shocked about the reveal. It only further proves how naïve she is when it comes to the law. She wants to protect the innocent and she’s never worked in big cities before so she wouldn’t know about corruption within the task force but it is quite common.

My job back in Lyon was to sniff out corrupted officers and take them down without question. That was my job, it didn’t matter what their rank was. If I had enough evidence on them, I had every right to put a bullet through their brain with no questions asked.

“It’s less common in smaller areas such as Naha but in the larger cities, it’s not unheard of.” Saiga further explains.

“It’s true I went from places to places taking down my targets but no one ever wondered how I was able to avoid the law?” I ask, catching everyone’s attention. “It doesn’t matter how good you are, you will get caught. I just happened to have an international agent who would always bail me out.” I explain.

“So you could have been bailed out immediately two years ago and there was absolutely nothing we could have done?” Sasayama asks and that’s pretty much it.

Actually that’s what Mika did the moment she heard the fiasco on the news. She didn’t believe for a moment when she heard the story being reported that I had been held hostage. She knew I had been caught red handed but the police which was my dad was trying to sweep it under the rug so immediately she reached out to Maria and Maria took care of everything. She was the reason why all my personal belongings, including my bank account was not confiscated. My dad simply played the comedy with Mika, all the while Kougami and everyone else had no idea what was going on. I never did tell Kougami about that time nor do I plan on telling him either any time soon.

“Yeah, pretty much.” I confirm.

“Sweet!” Kagari quickly exclaims and I know he’s going to bombard me with questions later but it’s fine.

“But you’re officially retired, right?” Tsunemori asks.

“Yes, I’m retired.” I confirm but someone in my position, retirement is never a guarantee. It just doesn’t last forever. I know it’s only a matter of time until I come out from retirement but it will be on my terms and my terms only.

**XXX**

* * *

 

**Chapter 6.5**

**Sugo**

The afternoon is going by smoothly. Actually, it’s going great. Everyone is having a good time and Ginoza does seem to be enjoying himself. It’s what I was aiming for when I suggested to Sasayama about throwing a light party for Ginoza as a welcome back home after being hospitalized for so long.

Sasayama quickly shot it down stating that Ginoza doesn’t like surprise parties. He appreciates the intention and he would never complain about them but he hates being caught by surprise and I respect that. The last thing I want is to make Ginoza feel out of place when it’s an event for him so instead I just told everyone that I was going to throw a barbeque. I didn’t have to make up any excuses, everyone all agreed it would be a great idea especially since the weather is just perfect.

“Hey!” Kougami calls out as he makes his way over.

It’s already four in the afternoon; exactly what was he up to for so long? It’s almost time for me to start cooking the food. Whatever he was doing, it could have waited.

“What did I miss?” He asks as if nothing happened.

“Conversations.” Ginoza quickly answers back, not bothering to look at Kougami as he spoke and he doesn’t seem to be interested in making room on the bench for him either. He seems rather comfortable right now and considering the hell he’s been through, Kougami can just go grab a beach chair in the back near the retaining wall.

“Doctor Saiga.” Kougami voice out after he scanned the benches as if looking for a place to sit. “What brings you here?” He asks as he walks over to the beach chairs and brings one over and places it right next to Ginoza which forces Ginoza and the chief to stop the swing and that’s just rather selfish. He could have placed his damn chair a bit further.

“Checking up on a patient.” Saiga answers calmly before adding, “Mostly visiting a friend.”

“I’m sure you must have other matters to attend to.” Kougami replies back with little interest and that’s rather cold. It’s almost as if Kougami is simply disregarding the fact that yes Saiga is a doctor but he’s also an old friend to Ginoza. He can’t just dismiss someone like that and especially since Ginoza is still here with us because of that man. He could be a bit more respectful.

“Some matters possess greater value than others.” Saiga counters back in that same calm tone but I can tell this man is studying Kougami. He’s studying everything about him without the other noticing. From body language to what he says. Everything Kougami is doing is being carefully studied.

“If you say so.” Kougami says as he sits down in the beach chair.

The moment Kougami arrived; I immediately felt the atmosphere change. Everyone is on edge but I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s noticed the tension between Ginoza and Kougami. There’s definitely something that’s eating at Ginoza all the while Kougami seems to be unaware of it or he simply ignores it altogether as if nothing is wrong. Needless to say, I have a feeling those two are just a ticking time bomb.

The vibration of a phone catches my ears only to see Ginoza pull out his phone and puts it back down. Kougami definitely caught that and I wonder if he’s going to say something about it since his eyes are fixated onto Ginoza’s phone. I honestly don’t know what’s going on with him as of late.

“Well, I for one find it great to meet someone from Ginoza’s own entourage.” Tsunemori voices out and I agree. Saiga is someone just like Mika that knows things about Ginoza that none of us knows about. They’ve got an interesting history together and in a way it’s great to being able to talk to someone whom Ginoza is familiar with for a change.

When Ginoza came back a year ago, yes he had met us a year prior to that but it was only briefly. He didn’t know any of us except for Sasayama of which I believe helped a lot. But, since he was in a relationship with Kougami, it was expected of him to socialize with us. Well not really expected but it was to Kougami but Ginoza quickly clicked with all of us. Now that some of his old friends are showing up, it should be expected of Kougami to do the same but he clearly doesn’t have any intentions of doing so.

“How long have you known each other?” Kougami asks, killing the long silence, his gaze locked onto the good doctor and for a moment I thought he might actually attack Ginoza about that call he just ignored but instead he just decided to continue to drill the man.

“Over ten years.” Ginoza is the one to answer but Kougami never removed his piercing gaze away from the doctor. “We met when I began my notorious career.” Ginoza adds and with that last comment, it was like a whip. Kougami quickly turned towards Ginoza and by the look in his eyes; I know he’s got something in the back of his mind. I think if the chief wasn’t here right now, I think Kougami would be giving Ginoza a bit of grief over that last comment.

“Speaking of notorious career. Any notorious adventures we ought to know about?” Sasayama asks but if it’s his way to try and change the mood, I don’t think this is the right way to do it. It’s just going to end up putting more pressure onto Ginoza.

“What do you think?” Ginoza shoots back at Sasayama.

Kougami finally took his gaze off Ginoza and I think he didn’t really get what Sasayama was asking Ginoza. In a way it’s good. I know how Kougami gets in his relationships. He always needs to know what his partner has done before him and it gets to a point that it just kills his relationships. When it comes to his partner’s past flings and hookups, Kougami can get pretty jealous and then feels the need to compete with those past flings. It’s a real headache and I deeply sympathies with them.

Only an idiot would believe that Ginoza has never had any relationships before Kougami. Ginoza is a human being and just because he was into a shady life doesn’t mean he didn’t have his own adventures. I’m pretty sure the number he has, would probably drive Kougami insane but it shouldn’t be a surprise. I’m not blind; even I can see that Ginoza is good looking. If those two were ever to break up, I’m pretty sure that Ginoza wouldn’t have to look hard and he’d had someone new within a few days max.

“My man!” Sasayama exclaims.

“And when did Gino turn into a chipmunk?” Kagari is the next one to kill the silence and I wonder how long will he stay on that?

“That would have to be a year after we met-” Saiga answers only to be interrupted when Kougami’s phone starts ringing.  Did he really have to bring that damn thing outside?

“I swear to god if you answer that phone I think I might just come out of retirement.” Ginoza tells him as he straightens himself to look at Kougami who already has his phone in his hands and honestly, if he knows what’s good for him he won’t answer it.

“It’s my job.” Kougami quickly says in his defence. It’s always the same old thing with him. It’s always his job and everything else comes second and I can understand why Ginoza is sick of that damn phone. “I can’t just ignore my job-”

Before Kougami can finish executing his excuse, Gino quickly grabs the phone out of Kougami’s hand. He waste little time I to ignore the call before shutting the phone down and then proceeds into removing the skin and takes out the battery before tossing the pieces back to Kougami.

“There. Problem solved.” Ginoza says as he gets himself back comfortable as he adjusts back the cushions.

“Gino! What the fuck!?” Kougami quickly exclaims only to get a sharp glare from the chief.

“Kou, mind your language.” The chief warns him, forcing Kougami to calm down but he’s far from being calmed at this point.

“That could have been important.” Kougami complains as he puts his phone back together but since today is a Sunday and the only thing that he does in Tokyo is lectures. I seriously doubt it that it is important.

“I think they’re capable of leaving a voice message on your supposed day off.” Ginoza shoots back, with little interest.

If I was Kougami, I’d be thankful that Ginoza just dismantled the phone and didn’t just throw it into the sea. By all means, we would all understand if he had. All week, his damn phone constantly rung and he would actually leave Ginoza alone in his room to take it. If no one else had been there for him, Ginoza would have had a very rough recovery.

“So the puppy has a name! It’s Dime!” Karanomori suddenly says in her attempt to try and calm the tension when the same vibration as before fills the air and Ginoza quickly ignores the call on his phone again.

“That’s an odd name.” Kougami quickly states but I know what he wanted to say. Even if the name was the best in the world, he would still complain about it because he wasn’t the one who came up with it. Sometimes, Kougami acts just like a little child.

“Well I like it.” Ginoza quickly counters back. “Sugo came up with it.” He adds and I know he said that on purpose just to further piss off Kougami.

“I’m glad to see that Penny is getting along with Dime.” I state as I look at the dogs gently playing with each other.

“Yeah, I think they might become good friends. We should take them for walks together; they might burn themselves out faster.” Ginoza says when his phone vibrates again and I have to wonder who is trying to get a hold of him so badly today. His phone hasn’t buzzed all week and today it just will not stop.

“You’ve ignored that same call twice now since I’m here.” Kougami voices out and I knew it was only a matter of time until he would have picked on Ginoza for that. “Answer it.” He orders and that’s just rather rude. He can’t just oblige someone to take a call. Especially since I understand why Ginoza is ignoring it in the first place. He just wants to be polite towards us because he appreciates our presence.

“Yes as a matter of fact I did and I’m able to set my priorities in the right place.” He answers.

“Answer it.” Kougami orders again. His tone was sharper this time and there’s a hint of malice in his tone and right now I’m not liking this.

“What?” Ginoza asks as he looks at Kougami.

“Answer it or I will.” He orders again as he stands up.

The chief is eyeing him real hard as if waiting for what Kougami will do next all the while Saiga is quietly observing in his seat. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Kougami is not held quite high in Saiga’s book.

“Alright.” Ginoza finally relents as he answers the phone and taps the screen again before answering, “McGarrett.”

“Hey! I hope I haven’t caught you on a bad time.” A man says on the phone.

“I was in the middle of something.” Ginoza says but doesn’t bother to look at Kougami who is still fuming as he looks down at Ginoza.

“Argh, my bad.” The man says. “I sound echoic, am I on speaker?” He asks and I have to wonder why did Ginoza put the call on speaker? And then again, perhaps it was smart to do that considering how snappy Kougami is all of a sudden.

“Yes, you are.” Ginoza answers.

“Ahhh, so I’m expected to behave.” The man states and I can sense some amusement in his tone. From what I can hear, the guy seems to have a good sense of humor. “Smart man.” He adds.

“Is that something you’re capable of to begin with?” Ginoza asks. “We both know your maturity level is lower than a kindergarten.” He adds and that is a burn but I wonder who’s the caller. I’ll assume that McGarrett must be his last name but I wonder who the guy is though. The name is somewhat familiar. I’ve heard that name before…

“You’re being generous. We all know it’s not higher than a preschooler.” He shoots back causing the girls to laugh. “Hey I hear some beautiful girls in the background, you devil!” The man adds which makes the girls laugh even more.

“You can’t even see them.” Ginoza states.

“Hey, all women are beautiful. That’s the law!” McGarrett quickly shoots back.

“Right on!” Sasayama shouts and adds, “I like this guy, Gino!”

“Oh thank you! Unknown man! You make my heart melt!” McGarrett answers Sasayama without missing a beat all the while I can still see Kougami fuming but at least he sat back into his seat.

“You’re fucking married!” I hear another guy shout in the background.

“What does Gisele have to say?” Ginoza asks, ignoring the new voice.

“She waits for me at home with a big thick ass belt.” McGarrett answers, “It gives me feelings.” He adds and that’s a bit too much information for me unless this is all an exaggeration.

“Question.” Tsunemori voices out. “Does he always talk like this, even in front of his wife?” She asks.

“Yes!” McGarrett quickly answers.

“No, he does not.” Ginoza denies calmly. “He’s worst.” He adds just as calmly and that just makes everything even funnier.

“Good thing Gisele is not the jealous type, heh?” McGarrett shoots back and I guess it’s good if his wife doesn’t take everything he says seriously otherwise that relationship would surely suffer. “Where’s my girl at?” He asks.

“Right here, Buba!” Mika quickly responds.

“There’s my girl!” McGarrett acknowledges. “I have an upcoming business trip in Japan and I’m going to need your expertise.” He says and the moment he mentioned Japan, Kougami’s gaze quickly switched back to Ginoza. If I didn’t know any better, I feel as if Kougami might actually be jealous. Does he think that this guy might try to get in on Ginoza? For crying out loud, the man is fucking married!

“You know my number, Buba.” Mika says. “Call me tonight and I’ll arrange something for you.” She adds.

“That’s my girl.” McGarrett voices out. “Say, it has reached my ears that you almost died.” He adds, his tone suddenly serious and I’m pretty sure he actually called for that exact thing.

I know that Ginoza didn’t call anyone so I’ll assume it’s either Mika or Saiga that called him to advise that Ginoza had a near death experience. And, if that’s the case, this guy probably also has some history with Ginoza. They probably worked together but considering how he stated that he has some business in Japan, I’ll assume that he’s heavier than a simple coworkers. He’s probably not someone I’d want to mess with but I know I’ve heard that name before.

“A bit of an exaggeration.” Ginoza says but I can’t agree. It’s not an exaggeration, he really almost died.

“If I had arrived at the hospital two hours later than I did, he surely would have died.” Saiga voices out to confirm that Ginoza almost indeed did die but then again, perhaps this way of talking is all common to them. They all seem rather carefree.

“He’s going to make a full recovery.” Mika advises.

“Good to hear but is expected considering Saiga is providing the medical assistance.” McGarrett says so my assumption that this guy has some history with Ginoza is proven correct. He knows who Saiga is and the more I think about it, I’m positive that it was Saiga that called this man. “As a get well soon, I’ve sent you a care package.” McGarrett says.

“And how is this care package being transported I wonder?” Ginoza asks.

“With one of Nigel’s drones of course and you should be receiving it at any moment.” McGarrett explains and that’s just weird. Why a drone? But more importantly, is that even legal? “It will bring it right down to the ground.” He further explains and the moment he finished speaking, we hear a loud crash only a few feet away from us and I don’t know if I should laugh that the drone he was talking about just crashed or if I should be worried that it all occurred all in tune.

“What was that?” McGarrett asks but by his tone, I don’t think he’s too worried about it.

“You were right McGarrett, it brought it right down to the ground.” Ginoza says as Mika gets up and runs towards the crashed drone.

“Argh damn it!” McGarrett exclaims. “Nigel! Your drone is defective! It crashed landed!” He says.

“My drones are never defective! You sabotaged it!” Nigel answers back in the background and I must say if those two are coworkers, they have quite an interesting dynamic.

“Drone is dead.” Mika shouts as she tosses the drone aside. “Package lives!” She adds as she makes her way back towards us and surprisingly the package isn’t in bad shape. I wonder what’s in the box though.

“I won’t keep you any longer from your good people.” McGarret says. “I’ll be seeing you when I’m in Japan. In the meantime, please try not to kill yourself.” He adds.

“You make it sound a little too tempting.” Ginoza shoots back.

“Hey! Not without a glamorous brunette you don’t!” McGarrett shoots back before Ginoza ended the call and I wonder what he meant by that. Maybe it’s just nothing but it’s still interesting.

“Awesome there’s wine.” Mika suddenly voices out after she opened the box.

“I’m surprised the bottle didn’t break.” Sasayama voices out but from what I can see, the box was well loaded with plenty of protective bubbles and foam. Almost as if McGarrett had a feeling that the droid would have crash landed.

Once Mika finished checking the contents of the package, she carefully places the box on the ground and from the items that she had pulled out, I’d say the package originates from France and most of the items such as the bottle of wine, the sweets and a silk scarf are products from Lyon. So, if I had to take a wild guess, I’d say that McGarrett is located in Lyon, France.

That name is familiar, I know I’ve heard that name before but I can’t put my finger on it. Either way, I don’t think it matters. It only makes me wonder more about Ginoza and with whom he worked for when he was in France. There’s only one organization I can think of but could it be possible that Ginoza was involved that deep?

Whatever it is, I won’t be asking Ginoza that question while Kougami is around. Right now, the guy is fuming and I know the moment that we’ll be gone and he’ll be alone with Ginoza, all hell will break loose. I just wish there was something that I could do but if I interfere, I know I’ll only end up making things worst.


End file.
